This made me laugh

Handle what, the brush?
Ken.

 

Why was the broom late ?

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Because it over swept !

 

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No, definitely not.

 

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Just saying Tucker

 

EXPECTING THE GRANDKIDS ROUND AGAIN?

 

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Do they serve real ale in Wetherspoons?

Some friends went out for a monthly curry and beer. Happened into a Wetherspoons and witnessed the most amazing fight of two drunk blokes going at each other like windmills.

Frankly a kick in the nadgers and a poke in the eye would have had either of them down. They were so crap they also deserved a punch to the wind pipe and an upper thrust to the solar plexus. I’m too polite to offer them my services.

 

That picture of Scarlet Johanson would have had @ronashurst foaming at the mouth.

 

The Geography of a Woman
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa . Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful!
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece. Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain. With a glorious and all conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel. Has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business .
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada. Self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.
After 70, she becomes Tibet.
Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages.
An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 1 and 100, a man is like North Korea and Russia.
Ruled by a pair of nuts!

 

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Not all… I’ll start with … Uhm….