This made me laugh

There too hard to find during this lockdown

 

I thought it was a tuna, cucumber and mayonnaise sandwich.

Now feeling a little nauseous.

 

Now you mention there was a taste of fish

 

When I was just a little lad, a more knowing older boy told me a joke: "Would you rather have a clean cake on the table or a dirty tart on the floor?" It took me years to work out what he meant.

 

Gets in your teeth, them that still have some.

 

Am I the only one who thinks it’s just a subway xxxl? I mean, a “foot long” is so pre-COVID! And imagine the amount of mature cheese you can put on it...

 

An older lady is standing in line at the Pearly Gates awaiting her turn to see St. Peter.

There was a young woman in front her, so she decides to strike up a conversation and asks how the young woman died. She says "I froze to death."

"That's horrible" says the lady.

"How about you?" asks the young woman.

"Well" says the lady "I suspected my husband was cheating, so I came home early from work to see if I might catch him in the act."

"I ran in and bounded up the steps to the bedroom, only to find him alone in bed."

"I rushed to the closet, and found it empty."

"I dove under the bed and found nothing"

"I ran through every room in the house from the basement to the attic, but didn't find anything."

"Then I keeled over from a heart attack."

"Well" says the young woman "If you'd looked in the fooking freezer first we'd both be alive."

 

My buddy: "Did you just get back from a vacation in the U.K.?

Me: "No, what makes you think that?"

My buddy: "Well, you are using words like "knackered," "dodgey," and "cracking."

Me: "Oh, I joined the Triumph forum."

 

Blimey matey , we’ll be hav’in ya do’in Cockney be’rra than Dick Van Dyke in naaw time!

 

The neurolinguistic programming is working then, though you're falling down a bit you should use "mate" when referring to a friend.

 

Oi, where’s the ham? Oh I know, it’s 2 and a half miles away.

 

After a little research, it might be that the ingredients of our favourite sandwich are a little further apart than first thought...



And if you want a little Chile (chilli) to spice up your sandwich, that’s even further away, abut thankfully some Garnish has been found in a remote spot in Canada.

Edit: It’s only 08:20 and I am already bored. Today is going to be a long one...

Edit 2: if you would like cucumber and mayonnaise then please speak to the cook when she has ‘finished’...

 

“ a foot long”. Surely you mean 300mm ?

 

I can't decide if this is genius, or madness. Either way, I want one.

 

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I was once out on site with work and called into subway for lunch, had my tape measure to hand since I was working and measured one... it fell short of the claimed foot

 

But we're no a' Cockneys, ye ken.