This made me laugh

I like this new 'useful'-button...

 

Now then - lets get this straight, you are suggesting that people that play/played hockey are adept at housework?
I can't speak on behalf of Mr Orange, but as we're both ex ice hockey players I'm sure he'll join me in taking great exception to this stereotype - For god's sake man, my wife might see this and insist that I am predisposed to hoovering the house instead of tinkering in the garage.

 

I feel a bench clearance coming on!
Anyway, would you want to mess with women ice hockey players - they only take their pads off after three periods........

 

A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO , WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN.

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET.

SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.

THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.

THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.

THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.

THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL
HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE."

HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS.

"I TOLD HER, 'FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO TORONTO."

 

So there I was this morning, my breakfast tray across my lap, dunking my toast soldiers into my soft boiled egg. When all of a sudden the window cleaner appears at the window, banging on the window, effin and geffin !
Blimey thinks I, he must have lost his rag !

 

This is TRUE!!!! (must, its in todays Mail!)
A Zimbabwian Pastor got eaten by a crocodile while showing his congregation how Jesus walked on water!!!
All that was left was a pair of pants and sandals.
The irony of it, it cracked me up!
A quote from the croc: Pastor? Sorry I thought they said PASTY!!

 

http://m.ebay.co.uk/itm/122463746107?_mwBanner=1

Quite an eBay listing.!!!!

Warning - grown ups only, so @littleade, don't you look

Have a look at their other items too!!!

 

Q. What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
A. One is fat and ugly, the other is a little lighter

 

Didn't make me laugh, but did make me smile, worth a watch !

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=2756134564409585

 

Would you?

 

Maybe not!!!!