This made me laugh

You need to get out more Dave - too much time on your hands!

 

My mate's coming round in a few mins and we are going to replace the rear air springs on his wife's Discovery - that enough for yer?

 

A man went to Harley Street in London , having seen an advert for a Gynaecologist's Assistant.

Knowing that nowadays, job advertisers aren't able to discriminate against the applicant's gender, he was very interested, so he went in and asked the secretary for details.

She retrieved the file and read to him: "This job entails preparing ladies for the Gynaecologist. You will be responsible for helping them out of their underwear, laying them down and carefully washing their private areas, applying shaving foam to the necessary parts and removing all unwanted foliage, and finally, you'll be required to rub in soothing oils, in preparation for the Gynaecologist's examination.”

Then she told him “The annual salary is £65,000 and if you're interested, you'll have to go to Aberdeen ".

"My goodness!", exclaimed the man, "Is that where the job is?".

She answered, "No , that's where the end of the queue is..."

 

This made me laugh

https://www.facebook.com/groups/BWDE.bikergroup/permalink/1131781040195295/

 

Really funny that !!!!!

 

On a crowded train, travelling somewhere in Europe, a U.S. Marine walked through the carriages looking for a seat and saw that one was occupied by a well-dressed, middle-aged French woman's poodle.

The weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?"

The French woman just sniffed, and said to no one in particular, "Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat."

The Marine walked the entire length of the train and discovered that the only seat available was in fact the one currently being occupied by the poodle.

Trudging tiredly back, the marine arrived once more before the French woman and said, “Please Ma'am, may I sit down? I'm very tired?”

She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant. Why should I care if you are tired?"

This time, the Marine didn't say a word, but simply picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, then sat down.

The woman shrieked, "Someone, defend my honour! This American needs to be put in his place!"

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, "Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold your fork in the wrong hand, and you drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. Now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window."

 

Excellent !

 

Another extract from The Ladybird book of "The Mid-Life Crisis".

 

I know that feeling well !!!!!

 

You've got to admire his tenacity.

https://www.facebook.com/AFV/videos/10153997721846661/

 

Ho

How many times HT? It's not the quantity that counts!!