This made me laugh

Visibility wasn't good the other day,when I got pulled over by a traffic cop doing 80mph.

He said, "What would you do if Mr Fog came down suddenly?"

"I would put Mr Foot on Mr Brake", I replied.

"Let me start again", He said, "What would you do if mist or fog came down suddenly?"

 

Sad to hear the discoverer of wheat intolerance has died.
The family have requested no flours..

 

A family is driving behind a bin lorry when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen.
Embarrassed and to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, that was an insect."
To which, her son replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that."

 

One of life"s great mysteries -
How is it that a woman can fit a seven inch vibrator into her half inch fanny in the dark but she's unable to fit a 3 metre car into a 6 metre parking space in broad fucking daylight?

 

The hottest trend in Germany:

 

Need a long straw to drink that one

 

And if you spotted the dog driving the car you're gay. Disclaimer ( I have nowt against gays, by the way).

 

Don't give Havit and littleade ideas. You never know what they will do

 

Is that a picture of you @Havit