This made me laugh

Politics. This is a new thread created in the Lounge, to discuss such, just trying to keep this thread full of Gloria's funnies

 

That’s a bad idea Ron,I don’t think folk joined this forum to talk about politics and no doubt end up falling out with each other. If you start banning political jokes from this thread will have to ban all sorts of other topics I.E Religion, women etc etc for fear of offending someone, If anyone doesn’t find a joke funny they are better just ignoring it

 

....and back on track

One fine summer's evening, Paddy, Mick and Liam are riding back home from the bar, all three of them on Paddy's motorcycle.

Of course, they get stopped by a cop who says to them, "This motorcycle is only licensed to carry two people, and there are three of you. One of you will have to get off and walk."

"Three of us?" says Paddy as he turns to Mick. "Jeez, what happened to Rory and Niall?"

 

The professor was lecturing about "Involuntary Muscle Contractions" when he noticed no one paying attention.

Angrily, he asked a girl on the front row, "Young lady, do you have any idea what your asshole is doing while you are having an orgasm"?

"Why yes", she answered. " He is usually out in the garage polishing his bike".

 

But we were !!!! So therefore is it not better that it is put someplace where it can be chosen to view, rather than having to ? When coming into a thread to just read silly jokes ???? I personally would prefer not to discuss it, because I do have very strong opinions on matters raised.

Is it not better to have somewhere to discuss, rather than having to read it when you just want a silly joke ?. To be honest, I really would like this thread to be free of politics, but I am not a dictator and am not going to delete political posts, so think the option of offering people the opportunity and place to discuss a better option.

I too consider this place a "pub" so created a corner for political discussions and leave the rest for talking bollox and taking the piss out of BMW owners.

 

Q. How do Biblical scholars know that King David rode a motorcycle?
A. Because in the Bible, it says that David's Triumph could be heard throughout the land...

 

A brand new car is being launched in Portugal which includes space in the boot for a child.

It's called the Renault McCann.

 

Even after all this time it still feels too early!

 

A young man moved from his parents home into a new flat of his own and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.
While there, an attractive young lady came out of the flat next to the mailboxes, wearing a dressing gown.
The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him.
As they talked, her gown slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on.
The poor guy broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.
After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my room, I hear someone coming."
He followed her into her apartment and she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.
Now completely nude, she purred at him,
"What would you say is my best feature?" Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears."
Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these boobs; they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day and my bum is firm and solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere, so how can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?!"
Clearing his throat, he stuttered, "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming, that was fucking me..."

 

Do you think he is trying to make up for something?
I could have put this in America thread, but thought it funny enough for here!!! How big is that screen.???

Hope it's no one on here, if it is, sorry

 

Desertspeedy needs one like that for his bug problem

 

Also noticed sandwich bag on the front, wouldn't your butties get squashed !!!!

 

Doubt it. It's the American model. Has reflectors on the shocks. Guys certainly does seem to have problems.
FFS that's a big screen !