This made me laugh

I went to the chemist last night and asked for something I could use to wipe things down to kill germs.
The woman behind the counter said, “Ammonia cleaner “.
I said, “Sorry, I thought you worked here “.

 

I have a little Satnav
It sits there in my car
A Satnav is a driver's friend
It tells you where you are

I have a little Satnav
I've had it all my life
It's better than the normal ones
My Satnav is my wife

It gives me full instructions
Especially how to drive
"It's thirty miles an hour love"
"And you're doing thirty five"

It tells me when to stop and start
And when to use the brake
And tells me that it's never ever
Safe to overtake

It tells me when a light is red
And when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctively
Just when to intervene

It lists the vehicles just in front
And all those to the rear
And taking this into account
It then specifies my gear.

I'm sure no other driver
Has so helpful a device
For when we leave and lock the car
It still gives me its advice

It fills me up with counselling
Each journey's pretty fraught
So why don't I exchange it
And get a quieter sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house,
Makes sure I'm properly fed,
It washes all my shirts and things
And keeps me warm in bed!

Despite all these advantages
And my tendency to scoff,
I only wish that now and then
I could turn the bugger off.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

Not yours then Don

 

If it was I would not be here posting on threads, I would be on Bondi beach doing favours for old biddies