This made me laugh

If that is the case he won't be able to look you straight in the eye and will be able to walk across water.......

 

Re people from Yorkshire being the tight ones, a Yorkshire friend told me years ago that their motto was:
"See all, hear all, say nowt.
Eat all, drink all, pay nowt."
I think he was only joking though. He always used to pay for his round.

 

I’m trying to get the Guinness world record for wearing the worlds tightest hat; I hope I can pull it off!

 

Keep them coming @DCS222

 

Two tourists were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Lianfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwryndrobwillinantysillogogogoch they started to arguing about the name of the town.

They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.

As they stood at the counter one of the tourists asked the blonde employee "would you please pronounce where we are very slowly".

The girl leaned over the counter and said.

"Burrrrrrrrrr Gerrrrrrrrrr Kiiiiiiiiing".

 

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Apparently the fridge was found somewhere near Emneth Hungate - the back of beyond and well known for fen dwellers!

 

Dont make her angrier.

 

No because I am not Norfolk born and bred! I am an immigrant which means I will always be an outsider to the locals!

 

My budgie broke his leg today, so I made a splint made from matches. His little face lit up when he tried to walk.

 

Evasive - very evasive. Obviously a guilty secret here. The nation demands the truth!

 

is there a cat or a dog in that picture?

 

My rudimentary maths suggests Northamptonshire then. Bugger! I don't know any stereotype piss-takes for the inhabitants of Northants (or indeed where it is!) Looks like you get a free pass then...