This made me laugh

Did you hear that the green party’s alternative fuel policy also promises to have the rail network running on thyme?

 

So where do I get the face palm emoji? Definitely need it for that one!

 

While riding my Harley, I swerved to to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head.
Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, "Are you okay?As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low-cut blouse with cleavage to die for..."I'm okay I think, " I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look.
She said, "Get in and I'll take you home, so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head."
"That's nice of you," I answered,
"but I don't think my wife will like me doing that!"
"Oh, come now, I'm a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly." Well, she was really pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated,
"I'm sure my wife won't like this."
We arrived at her place which was just few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I'd better go now ." Don't be silly!" she said with a smile. "Stay for a while.
She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
"Still in the ditch, I guess!

 

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You have to become a subscriber mate
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That is weird....

 

They will only fill the slot with older series of the programmes as there is nothing else being made to fill them unfortunately...

 

That is very weird !!! I saw several colour 'ghost' images of a fit bird.

 

Is it cold in here?

 

Fuck knows...

 

It should be further up on his head