Rant of the day

My rant of the day.......posts in here with links to pictures and videos on Facebook .
I don't have and never will have a fb account and I know many others in here don't either so we don't get to see them.

 

I don’t do Facebook either, hate it when links take me there..,.,,

 

I have a fake FB account just for logging in to other sites. I never visit it.

 

Well that's me told then!

 

Yeah, plus one on the face-slap for Bad Billy. I don't basefook, either - never have; never will - so would also like to see additional, alternative links. And I don't mean twatter; instacrap, etc.

Please.

 

I thought you got married?
(She doesn’t know where I live does she?)

 

Er, I’m a Neanderthal too and would have likely approached the ‘locked door’ problem the same way - I.e. reprogramming the misbehaving washing machine with a hammer... However I recently discovered the internet - a fabulous invention there are literally dozens of websites on it! I was amazed to find that it is possible to get expert advice in the form of short videos made by some sanctimonious/smug bast@rd that will tell you how to do all sorts... This ‘help’ is a bit ‘after the horse has bolted’, but might be useful to remember in the future...



The WiFi is so that you can see on ur phone how fast your grungiest Y-Fronts are spinning in the rinse cycle...

The down side of a ‘network connected’ Hotpoint is that some Anonymous bugger has probably modified Stuxnet to ‘over spin’ your washing by hacking into the machines WiFi connection.

This IoT (Internet of Things) trend has gone too far when you can get network enabled toasters and kettles! Remember Talkie the Toaster in Red Dwarf - can you imagine your washing machine going a bit deranged and keep asking if you want to wash your socks...



PS: we always get Bosch white goods. They tend to last better...

PPS: can you fix the washer? You can probably get the parts and they ain’t complicated machines...

 

After a bout of incontinence you bought a new one....?

I have been suffering (& reminded) my entire married life over a craic I made in the bridegroom’s speech about the return of service on white goods. One person didn’t laugh

I think I may have fatally tripped her switch.....

 

I always buy German appliances as they last longer. My AEG washing machine and dryer are both well over 12 years old and have never gone wrong. I may be an old fogey now but why do appliances need to be connected to the internet.

 

I doubt today’s AEGs are as durable. Merc’s certainly aren’t......

The design life of a cheapo washing machine is something like 3 yrs trouble free and dead in 7. The under counter front opener is a compromised design because all the load is levered on the back bearing.

I am often struck by vintage and veteran vehicles how many new ideas are really quite unoriginal - it is just we now have the materials and control system make them work.

Washing detergents have changed a lot too in recent years and the temperatures at which they clean.......and pollute.

 

I wouldn’t have believed that we all knew so much about washing machines...

Don’t ever let on to the ‘other half’...

I have feigned ignorance for years.

 

My other (larger) half is just pissed off I keep fixing the old rattler!

 

I’m a fixer too, can’t stand the thought of spending a whole “night out” on a new machine. Usually plectrums, hair grips and coins in the pump housing or the bushes having poor contact... wifey thinks she’s married Macgyver!

 

Always check the pump/filter before calling out the repair guy/gal. I’d have saved £30 last month if I’d done that. Feckin underwired bras.

 

Aah, yes......

The only ‘clever’ bit in a washing machine, dishwasher or electric oven is the control switch.

 

The only clever bit in a washing machine in our house is Mrs YM, I’ve f#cked so many clothes using the wrong program I’m surprised she lets me anywhere near it.

 

Does your Mrs know you regard her as an integral part of the machine? I would caution against letting on although by all means admit your own operator frailties; they like to feel superior.

 

The main question is - does the appliance have it's own service backup? Most appliances are in fact Italian - hotpoint, InDesign, hoover, candy etc etc. Some have shared components - water valves, pumps even motors. Try avoid franchise based engineers who think meters are for checking

 

Should be chocking machines up. I have been in and out of the engineering side since 1981- it's a minefield out there....

 

You may be right DD. I’ve just thrown away a Philips freezer which was bought as a wedding present around 1983 and never broke down which made it 36 years old. That thing lasted outlasted my first marriage by a considerable margin.

 

Guilty as charged!

 

Yep, she loves being part of the machine, especially when it's on spin cycle

 

I had a convent educated ex I once caught getting soapy like that

 

I had a friend with a Trophy girlfriend. She loved his single cylinder ‘thumper’ motorcycle. When he changed it for a silky smooth 4 cylinder machine she ditched him immediately. Can’t imagine why...

 

Evil will show its face where ever humans live. Terrorism is meant to shock and make you feel unsafe anywhere. it’s awful, my heart goes out to the families and friends.