Quotes You Like, Or Rules To Live By!

Always remember an old farmer I used to work for... Very wet and rainy, the ditches would be blocked, and everywhere was flooding.

"It's too wet to dig ditches." (that's the quote... )

Summer, everything nice and dry, I'd say "Shall I take the machine and clean the ditches?"

"Why? It's dry... They don't need it!"

He had a tractor for every implement. Each one had either an old welly or a tin can over the exhaust to "winterise" it. You'd spend an hour getting each one running.... It's really how I learned to bleed diesel fuel systems!

One autumn evening the hay shed caught fire. There was ladders, tools, barrows, bale elevator, all sorts in that shed. The fire brigade arrived and put the fire out. The head bummer says to the old boy "Good job that old massey wasn't in there...."

"Aye", he says. "I couldnae start it."

 

Two pig-related quotes I like:

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig. Robert Heinlein

Never wrestle a pig. You'll both get dirty and besides, the pig likes it. George Bernard Shaw, I believe.

 

Happy as a pig in shit

 

Speaking about a law enforcement officer...

"Everybody is a victim of their own gene pool.

Somebody must have pissed in his...."

Dr. Walter Bishop. Fringe Division.