Battle Scars?

There was Hobnobs at all the races mate.

 

When I totaled my Nomad in ‘07 I destroyed my wrist and almost lost my hand. It was reconstructed by a brilliant surgeon aptly named Dr DeFee. He was a humble, nice guy. Three surgeries and wearing an external fixator for 7 weeks and I was ready for a couple of months of excruciatingly painful PT. It was worth it, though as my hand is about 90% fully functional.

I have pics somewhere, but can’t find them at the moment.

 

Did my knee in polishing my bike last weekend, blew up like a balloon.

 

Chimps can't log in to the forum? Have you read some of the posts on here?!

 

Like @half ton I did the same thing although I was less than 7 years old at the time and it was my favourite white, yes white jeans (I thought they were cool at that age!) I was wearing 'Y'-Fronts but he was poking out and zzziiiipppp!!!! Oh Jesus, Oh Jesus! Help!!! My father, despite many years RAF service didn't know what to do and called a bleedin' ambulance. Ambulance crew arrive and cut off me feckin' beloved white jeans except the area surrounding the bleedin' zip and then bung me in a wheel chair with a blanket over me and into the ambulance. What seemed like an age later I was seen in A&E and the doctor took one look, picked up a pair of heavy scissors and snipped across the bottom of the zip and the thing parted like the red feckin' sea!!!!! All that embarrassment, an ambulance, time in A&E and a freezin' car ride home in my scants just because no other bugger knew that if you cut across the bottom of a zip it will just come undone!!!!!

The old fella was right as rain but I was scarred for feckin' life!

As for other battle scars... well the worst I have had is whiplash and a fractured hip after being knocked off by a bloody doctor and I have done various types of extremely acrobatic manoeuvres from the saddle, not to mention fallen off many things from a variety of altitudes but I have never completely broken anything and the only other fracture I have had was when I was a kid visiting my cousin at about six years old or so and I borrowed his Raleigh Striker for a spin around his home area in Menstrie near Stirling which, unknown to me, had suffered a fracture in the handlebars just above the headstock, the bike, that is not Menstrie, that my Uncle had brazed (yes brazed!) and, when I bumped off a curb the brazing parted and I went arse over tit out of the saddle full somersault into the road knocking myself out and I came to on my back still holding the handlebars and with a fractured left arm.

 

Keeping things bike related....

Sept'94.......fractured right kneecap, Fireblade vs Passat estate. Very lucky!
January '04, broken left hip, bicycle vs black ice. Operation to screw together.
November '04, broken shoulder/collar bone + concussion, (out cold for around 20 mins). R1 + too much right hand vs left hand bend. Very lucky on this one!
A few others with just severe bruising thankfully. I hope that's my lot!

 

Well this is me with nineteen staples holding my guts in after being mauled by a male lion. I was aware of it just as it pounced from behind. I twisted and jumped to one side but it caught me with it's claw. It landed just in front of me. I shat myself but I managed to grab hold of it's tail. I swung it round and round, gathering speed and hight, about six revolutions in all, before launching it into the air. It sailed into the air, higher and higher before landing in a tree. It was obviously afraid of heights because it just clutched onto the tree trunk and started crying. So I went back to the hotel and had a pint and a pork pie.
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Well ok then I'd had a umbilical hernia repair. But the lion story is better.

 

I don't have any photos so you will have to use your imagination unless you have Aphantasia that is.
many many years ago i worked in an ice cream factory and I was surprisingly hot so on a trip to the freezer to put a cage of said ice cream away I thought it may help to like the frost off the pipes to help me to cool down.
well you can imagine my surprise and shock when my tongue instantly froze to the pipe. well after a few seconds to calm my thoughts I then started to worry someone would come in and find me stuck in my embarrassing situation.
so I gritted my teeth and pulled my head back thus ripping my tongue off the pipe. unfortunately my bottom lip caught the pipe and that stuck instead and I had to rip that off as well. and I had to slink back out and back to work with a bloody tongue and lip.

And that was how I learnt not to lick frozen pipes.

 

I'm ok if you don't

Bike scars are the usual gravel rash. I have been over the sink at 2am with a scrubbing brush removing grit from my forearm. I've a beaut of a 12" slit up one calf that had to be stitched and the scar is still there 50 years later. But that was from a sharp edge on my pushbike mudguard.

*touches wood*

So far I've bounced well, got T Boned on a roundabout on the Fixie (pushbike) and one of the witnesses (a nurse) complimented me on my ability to hit the ground and roll. Couple of years ago so not when we're normally elastic. Much more traffic and I'd have been buggered.

 

burn scars to my middle fingers on my left hand............... so what do you get when you mix a candle, a shot glass with nice whisky and a bunch of daft young airmen in the mess?

 

As those that saw my reply in the 'Ditchpump guitar derail' will know I managed to catch my left hand on an unguarded (spinning) table saw blade. Least it removed tissue cleanly

 

Just recovering from my op which has been an ongoing thing since a bike crash some yrs ago, had a nerve resited in elbow

 

Ouch! Hope you get it sorted.

 

90% of my dozens of offs, high sides,, low sides and one tank slapper at 80 mph. All occurred before I was 25 and still bounced well, now almost 61 with 51 years of riding I'm pretty sure I ain't going to bounce well at all, so atgatt. I write this as I'm laying on the couch with a ice pack on my left butt cheek from an small incision on Friday morning. My first surgery so to speak. GF is gone tonight so I have to fetch my own beers FFS.

 

Thanks JtC, that's very kind of you

 

Touch wood i have not had anything more serious than the odd small bit of gravel rash....the worst thing that was not crash related was years ago when i did a swap of a Harley sportster for a Z900 chop and during loading the Sportster into the back of a pick up i managed to take the top off my little finger on the brake disk, The local cottage hospital did a cracking job of sewing it back on and its still OK .

 

Don't they?????

 

Monaco police station glass door 1978. Long story, involving wine, a funfair, a gorilla mask, and girls. Ended up wi me getting deported, and nearly kicked out ot Navy. Again.

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