This made me laugh

A bad workman always blames his fools… Tools, I meant tools. Stupid keyboard…

"Sarcasm will get you nowhere in life," my boss told me. "Well, it got me to the 'International Sarcasm' finals in Santiago, Chile in 2009," I informed him. "Really?" he asked. "No," I replied.

 

A man walks into a book shop, as asks the cashier "Do you have any cookery books with advice on using Oxo?"

"No" replied the cashier, "We're out of stock."

 

Nice church conversion....

 

My dog only responds to commands in Spanish.

He's Espanyol.

 

Oh come on DD some of the antics from our politicians rack as some of the funniest actions/jokes ever made.......

 

Tragedies more like

 

Meep Meep...

 

Aye it’s the same for me

 

I saw my female friend in the pub earlier. She showed me her new tattoo of Chinese letters.

"What does it mean?" I asked.

"It means 'love and peace'" she said.
I looked it up. I haven't got the heart to tell her it actually means 'Choose one of the tattoos below'

 

Easy explanation.

 

Move over dad

 

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Guess I who bumped into at Specsavers yesterday......everybody