This made me laugh

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Havit, Sep 23, 2015.

  1. TEZ 217

    TEZ 217 Crème de la Crème

    Mar 6, 2016
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    #2621 TEZ 217, Jul 14, 2017
    Last edited: Jul 15, 2017
    I agree would have to be something like this buggar to cover that mess
    [​IMG]
     
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  2. MrOrange

    MrOrange Guest

    Dozers Dad - Can you bring your Tattoo gun up to Bellingham ? Think we can have some fun when someone is sleeping !!!!!
    I am sure once I am drunk, I'll be a really good tattoo artist :p:laughing::laughing::laughing:
     
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  3. TEZ 217

    TEZ 217 Crème de la Crème

    Mar 6, 2016
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    Hydrophobic membrane says --

    [​IMG]
    Agree nice boots, Shame your other leg is a cat scratching post but maybe find the odd right boot now and then, lol
     
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  4. Havit

    Havit Admin
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    He,'ll be devast8ed if he can't
     
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  5. Havit

    Havit Admin
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    image (1).jpeg
     
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  6. Havit

    Havit Admin
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    FB_IMG_1500219334431.jpg
     
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  7. Sprinter

    Sprinter Kinigit

    Aug 17, 2014
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    Thats how I spend my days, dont knock it till youve tried it. Did you draw that is good
     
  8. dilligaf

    dilligaf Guest

    :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:6or7 mile tail back coming out of Ullapool a few years ago.....when We got to the front there was Mr and Mrs Lycra TWATS:mad: spoiling a lovely day out for everyone else
    They are the most selfish road users out....worse than caravans and horses :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:
    Really boils my piss:mad::mad::mad:
     
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  9. MrOrange

    MrOrange Guest

    #2630 MrOrange, Jul 16, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 16, 2017
    To be honest, its not just the selfish twats on bikes, it's also the useless fucks that can't drive and make it past a pair of bikes, that cause just as much trouble, if not more so :eek:

    Drove 50+ miles back from Stranraer (watching St Mirren thrash them 4-1, at poofball), and the number of times I passed multiple cars that just sat behind tractors, caravans, buses, etc !!!! :dizzy: This was in a diesel Freelander, not the quickest of machines.

    How am I able to pass 3 cars and the tractor, but the dickhead at the front can't even manage a tractor ???? Now that really gets my piss on a good simmer:mad:
     
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  10. Callumity

    Callumity Elite Member

    Feb 25, 2017
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    There is a perverse self righteousness to their behaviour as 90% of them will be car drivers too.
     
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  11. Havit

    Havit Admin
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    And a small % bikers ah James :p
     
  12. MrOrange

    MrOrange Guest

    POLICE WORK CAN BE ENTERTAINING AS WELL AS DANGEROUS.

    Recently, a female police officer arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22 year old male, who was caught fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night.

    The next day, at the Horsham Court (Victoria, Australia), Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency and public intoxication.

    Lawrence explained that, as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session, he decided to stop.

    "You know how a pumpkin can be soft and squishy inside... Well, there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around..." he stated.

    Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need.

    "I s'pose I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience, until Senior Constable Brenda Taylor approached him.

    'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' Senior Constable Brenda Taylor told the magistrate.

    'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin...'
    Constable Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence ....

    "I said: 'Excuse me sir, why are you having sex with a pumpkin?

    "Lawrence froze. He was clearly very surprised that I was there, but then.....

    He looked me straight in the eye and said: 'A pumpkin? **** - is it Midnight already'?"

    THE COURT (AND THE MAGISTRATE) COULD NOT CONTAIN THEIR MIRTH.
    THE GEELONG POST WROTE AN ARTICLE DESCRIBING THIS AS 'THE BEST COMEBACK LINE EVER.'
     
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  13. MrOrange

    MrOrange Guest

    Screenshot_20170718-130619.jpg
     
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  14. MrOrange

    MrOrange Guest

    Screenshot_20170718-163459.jpg
    Just give it a minute, you'll spot it!!!
    :laughing::sob:
     
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  15. H.O.

    H.O. Noble Member

    Nov 28, 2015
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    Spotted!;):D
     
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  16. dilligaf

    dilligaf Guest

    Yeah I spotted it as well :)
    Should say snack.. AND...play !
    Eee I don't know.... what's the world coming to????:rolleyes:
     
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  17. stevethegoolie

    stevethegoolie Elite Member

    Oct 16, 2014
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    Spotted backside.o_O
    Shouldn't that be spotty arse?:eek:
    Just askin'.:confused:
     
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  18. Yorkshireman

    Yorkshireman Crème de la Crème

    Dec 12, 2015
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    A guy was pulled over for speeding and the cop said to him "if you can give me a reason for your excess speed that I haven't heard before I'll let you go" so the guy says " well my wife ran away with a cop and I thought you were bringing her back" The cop says " have a nice day sir"
     
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  19. Havit

    Havit Admin
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    FB_IMG_1497872742602.jpg e
     
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