This made me laugh

Our Wi-Fi was bust last night so I opened a bottle of wine and had a nice little chat with the wife. I was very surprised to learn that she no longer works at Woolworths.

 

Thought you guys would appreciate this one too

 

i almost convinced myself i could see one, until i put my glasses on and read the small print

 

I saw all 3!! mind you I've a vivid imagination

 

...and where is that darned penis, I am supposed to stare at...????

 

I'll send you that image as a private message

 

What you strange , not at all. It's nursey that's strange with all those tablets and whips ........

 

Not a joke, this actually happened the last day at work. Got up as usual in a fucking daze getting dressed in the dark. Got to work an for whatever reason I had a seriously itchy arsehole. Spent half the day scratching, poking and clawing at my arse. Realised after work I had put my pants on inside out when taking them off to stick in the wash basket.
Can't remember the last time I had skid marks on the outside.

Probably didn't make the missus laugh.

 

NO NO NO!
You won't go to hell!
Just to POLITICAL thread

 

Waitress says, "Would you like anything on your chips?"
I say, "Does it cost extra?"
Waitress replies "Ten pence."
I say "All right, I'll have four sausages and a steak pie."

 

I'm not going to bother with the Grand National this year. Last year my horse started off at 33/1 at Aintree, and ended up at 2 for 1 at Tesco's.

 

There's a new reality documentary show started on tv called "drunken yobs in city centres" I never miss an episode!



It's the only time I get to see my kids