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I arranged a threesome a while back. I had two no shows but I still had a fuckin' great night.

My pal had an RS2000. He was being harassed to sell it and finally snapped sayin "£25k and not a penny less!" thinking the canvasser would be put...

I'm not saying I'm a pervert or anything.. But if I stopped paying the subscription fees on all the specialist porn sites I use, I could probably...

Passengers. Strange but intriguing film. On a routine journey through space to a new home, a passenger, sleeping in suspended animation, wakes...

I was in the park with my dog and I said to this bloke, "Which way did you vote?" I voted to leave, " he replied. With that my dog bit him. I...

I'm not normally suspicious, but my wife said that Steve from Autoglass came round today and injected her crack with his special resin. She...

I was in a Hotel last week and I ordered a 'wake up call' In the morning the phone rang and this woman's voice shouted "Hey! What the fuck are you...

One of life"s great mysteries - How is it that a woman can fit a seven inch vibrator into her half inch fanny in the dark but she's unable to fit...

A family is driving behind a bin lorry when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen. Embarrassed and to spare her young son's...

Visibility wasn't good the other day,when I got pulled over by a traffic cop doing 80mph. He said, "What would you do if Mr Fog came down...

What did George Michael and a pair of Wellington boots have in common? They both got sucked off in bogs. Got pulled up by the police last night...

I have used my Scrambler throughout the winter and for the last month it's been a daily commuter. It was off road last night and I ended up riding...

A complete and utter denial of reality. I almost thought you were having a laugh with all the spelling mistakes and daydreaming. I can't be...

Let's start with "Scotland is not subsidised". At present we have the HIGHEST deficit in the advanced world. Google `Scotland's current deficit`...

Went out a ride tonight and ended up miles from any road. [IMG]

I remember buying a stainless steel thermos flask that had translated Japanese instructions. I laughed so hard I pished ma pants. Sometimes the...

I bought a kevlar hoodie off Ebay but from the genuine shop (if that makes sense) and the quality was so bad I thought I had bought a fake. I'm...

Female kangaroos have three fannies.

Not a joke, this actually happened the last day at work. Got up as usual in a fucking daze getting dressed in the dark. Got to work an for...

Haha great! :p. Insurance companies. Remember. All our calls are recorded for your safety oh and did you know we can insure your cat/gerbil/shower...