This made me laugh

You been drinking?

 

Christ I only thought you could add a maximum of 10, the forum is having a fit me thinks.

 

I hate reruns!

 

A fellow meets an attractive woman at the bar, and they hit it off over cocktails. She invites him back to her place. After a few more drinks they end up in the bedroom. He couldn't help but notice her impressive teddy bear collection. There were three long shelves of teddy bears covering an entire wall of the bedroom. There were small teddies on the bottom shelf, mid-sized teddies on the middle shelf and giant teddies on the top shelf. Well, he thought, everyone has to have a hobby. When they had finished and were basking in the afterglow he asked, "Well, how was it?" She said, "Pick any teddy from the middle shelf."

 

After recent extensive negotiations Temu are now able to give UK customers 1p off for every £1000 spent online. To fully benefit from this magnificent offer, please enter the discount code ‘Rachelfromaccounts’

 

I ended up with an older woman at a club last night.
She looked OK for a 61 year-old.
In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking that she probably had a really hot daughter.
We drank a bit, and had a bit of a snuggle, and then she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double..?
'What's that..?' I asked.
'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said.
I said, 'No,' - really excitedly.
We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was 'My Lucky Night',.
So I went back to her place.
She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: 'Mum, you still awake"..?

 

Always decline...

If the funeral director asks if you want to stop in for a cold one.

 

This made me laugh- in a Classic Bike Guide magazine article about taking your classic motorcycle abroad......

"Where do you want to stay overnight? Are you a hotel or a camping person? Camping is great if you are a) young and b) having a midlife crisis. Any fool can be uncomfortable...."

Must admit I'm a hotel/b&b person.

 

I can say from experience Laughter is Not the Best medicine for erectile dysfunction either!