This made me laugh

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Havit, Sep 23, 2015.

  1. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
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    My wife said: "That's the 4th time you've gone back for dessert!
    Doesn't it embarrass you?"
    I said: "No, I keep telling them it's for you."
     
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  2. Easy Tiger

    Easy Tiger Elite Member

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  3. Fork Lock

    Fork Lock Crème de la Crème

    #37243 Fork Lock, Nov 12, 2024
    Last edited: Nov 12, 2024
    One of the low lights in my life.

    I saw a guy pull out a pack of Turkish cigarettes today. It reminded me of an incident from the late 80's. I used to smoke a brand called Turkish State Monopoly cigarettes. A very unusual brand. They were unfiltered and strong. Real coffin nails. I think they were made with camel shit. My brothers and I walked out of this seedy bar late one night, and as I got to my bike, I reached for my cigarettes, which I always kept in my top left shirt pocket. The weren't there. I must have left them on the bar. I told my brothers to wait, and I went back into the bar to get my smokes. There, at the bar, was a guy in the same seat I had just left. There was a pack of Turkish State Monopoly cigarettes in front of him. I said, almost politely, "Hey bud, would ya' gimmie my cigarettes." He said, "They're my cigarettes." Now, I'm 6'2" tall, and at the time weighted about 230 lbs. I had a 300 lb. bench press, longish black hair and a beard. I was told I looked like Satan's bodyguard. People usually didn't mess with me. In a low guttural snarl, I said through clenched teeth, "Don't f---k with me kid! Just give me the cigarettes." "Sure, mister," he said, sliding them over to me. As I got back to the bike, I was muttering to myself, "Showed that a-hole." I reached into my hip pocket for the key and there were MY cigarettes!

    I turned around, walked back into the bar, apologized and gave the kid his pack of smokes.

    Actually, that last part didn't happen. I boosted this poor guy's cigarettes. The next time I went to confession, I didn't tell the priest about this. I was too embarrassed.
     
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  4. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
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    xorbe Noble Member

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    That's what those mirror things are for, every day a school day
     
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  8. Easy Tiger

    Easy Tiger Elite Member

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  9. Fork Lock

    Fork Lock Crème de la Crème

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  11. David Cooper

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  12. David Cooper

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  14. Petrolhead67

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  18. Fork Lock

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    The average cat can jump higher than a single-story house.

    This is because a single-story house can't jump at all.
     
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