TEACHER SAYS - A class of five-year old schoolchildren return to the classroom after playing in the playground during their break time. The teacher says to the first child ''Hello Becky, what have you been doing this Playtime?'' Becky replies ''I have been playing in the sand box.'' ''Very good,'' says the teacher ''if you can spell 'sand' on the blackboard, I will give you a biscuit.'' Becky duly goes and writes 's a n d' on the blackboard. ''Very good,'' says the teacher and gives Becky a biscuit. The teacher then says,''Freddie, what have you been doing in your playtime?'' Freddie replies, ''Playing with Becky in the sand box.'' ''Very good,'' says the teacher, ''if you can spell 'box' on the blackboard, I will also give you a biscuit.'' Freddie duly goes and writes 'b o x' on the blackboard. ''Very good,'' says the teacher and gives Freddie a biscuit. Teacher then says,''Hello Mohammed, have you been playing in the sand box with Becky and Freddie?'' ''No,'' replies Mohammed, ''I wanted to, but they would not let me. Every time I went near them they started throwing sand at me, calling me nasty names and asking to see under my jacket in case I had explosives.'' ''Oh dear,'' says the teacher, ''that sounds like blatant racial discrimination to me - I'll tell you what, if you can spell 'blatant racial discrimination' I will give you a biscuit.''
Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence. The Priest said, 'Sister, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so.' Sister Mary Katherine lived in the monastery for 5 years before the Priest said to her, 'Sister Mary Katherine, you have been here for 5 years. You can speak two words.' Sister Mary Katherine said, 'Hard bed.' 'I'm sorry to hear that,' the Priest said, 'We will get you a better bed.' After another 5 years, Sister Mary Katherine was called by the Priest. 'You may say another two words, Sister Mary Katherine. 'Cold food,' said Sister Mary Katherine, and the Priest assured her that the food would be better in the future. On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Priest again called Sister Mary Katherine into his office. 'You may say two words today.' 'I quit,' said Sister Mary Katherine. 'It's probably best', said the Priest, 'You've done fuck all but moan since you've been here.
