This made me laugh

Those Chinese balloons are actually Japanese (Mio Sakuragi) ...

 

Where?

 

I was out for a walk yesterday and saw these two bigger, older kids beating the hell out of a much smaller, younger kid. The little guy was gamely trying to fight back. I had to step in. The little bastid didn't stand a chance against the three of us.

Sean and Mick are outside the bar rolling around on the street in a knock down drag out fight. Tim walks up and taps one of them on the shoulder and asks "Is this a private affair or can anyone join in?"

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are at the bar having a few beers. A fly lands in the Englishman's beer. He says to the bartender "Sir, may I have another beer? A fly has landed in this one." A fly lands in the Irishman's beer. He flicks it out and goes on drinking. A fly lands in the Scotsman's beer. He grabs the fly by its little throat and says "SPIT IT OUT!"