This made me laugh

I've been extolling the virtues of eating dried grapes.

Just raisin awareness.

 

A pair of jumper cables walk into the bar ... bartender says "Hey you better not be starting anything."

 

Apologies in advance...

 

I was born a male.
I identify as a male…
But according to Sainsbury's Deluxe Sticky Toffee Pudding, I am actually a family of four

 

If I decide to identify as a woman tomorrow, does that make my wife a lesbian?

 

TRUSS RESIGNS - A NATION MOURNS

 

..

 

A young lad knocked on my door last Halloween and said, "Trick or Treat?" I said, "What have you come as?" He said, "A werewolf." I said, "but you haven't got a costume on, you're just in normal clothes." He said, "Well it's not a full moon yet is it, dickhead."