Most Embarrassing Think You Have Done On A Motorcycle

When I was learning, on a Honda 125, I’d been at a friends house when it started to snow. It’s starting to settle on the roads, so I set off home (Lake District back roads). Now I’d ridden off road before, so mud and gravel were known to me, but I’d not ridden in snow on the roads before, so I thought it was good to learn. I was cautious on the bends, but if I had it in a low gear, I could spin the rear a bit... a few whayhey moments, but I kept it upright. Confidence building, I started kicking the rear brake to do skids, which was fun seeing how long I could make it slide... again, I stayed on ok. Then the idiot brain kicked in, I wondered if I could make the front slide... a firm application of right hand later proved I could... but it was sliding on its side, along with myself and the rest of the bike! It was like Brian Jacks had jumped out of nowhere and judo thrown me to the floor as soon as I grabbed the brake. Only minor damage to the bike and my pride, but lesson learned and conservative rest of the ride home.

 

Said this before, and on here.
Pulled up in a very busy Matlock Bath on CB 1300, wifey on back, park front wheel into kerb, get off, no stand down.

 

Some time ago when magic was in the air, 'twas a time of flying colours and visiting club houses as a flock. Imagine a foggy winter night with this particular clubs' location near a mid country village called Blisworth I think (or maybe somewhere else but it was near Northampton). The narrow country road crossed and recrossed a canal or river with really sharp bends. Most of the group had been partaking of the local beverages and on leaving were a bit wobbly and full of bollox. Off we all zoomed, but not knowing the area and it being foggy we were all following the miniscule custom rear light of the bike in front.
The knob in the lead, who supposedly knew where he was going, and showing off with the speed he could maintain in such bad conditions missed one of the bends and flies through the hedge into a field.
Everyone went through the same hole.
I'll let you imagine the pain. Sort of funny now

 

Had a GSXF 750, all equipped for touring. Went for a week end in Normandy with my then future wife. Side stand, remove helmets, walk 20 meters, then a strange noise. The ground was not that flat and the bike very slowly went ahead and fall..

 

1974, came out of a club and swung my leg over my CB750, two young ladies watching on impressed.

Revved the engine, dropped the clutch.

Then did a 360 degree circle and fell over.

Must remember to take the steering lock off first.

 

I once test rode a couple of Harleys. Don't think I was spotted by anyone I knew though.......

 

My brother once came to my house on his Harley. I don’t think anyone saw him there though.
I did a tour across Germany with my three brothers. Whilst on an unrestricted autobahn we pulled out to overtake a truck and were immediately causing a traffic jam because of the same Harley.
Twice that bike has embarrassed me.
Luckily he lives in Ireland so we don’t see it often.

 

2 occasions both equally embarrassing.

With about 20 rat members filling up at a petrol station in France. Had sat on the bike for ages until my turn came to fill up. Stepped off the bike, no stand down. 19 " mates " laughing their heads off.

First ever time using a disc lock on the bike. I was at a rehabilitation centre in Cumbria. One of my fellow patients, an old girl, asked me to give her a spin around the car park. Happy to oblige I asked her to wait while I got the bike into a more open space for her to mount up. A small crowd had gathered round to watch proceedings and see me ungracefully fall off. Never used a disc lock since.

 

On a more recent occasion when I got my first 1200 ditch pump I had SWMBO riding pillion and came to a give way sign at a crossroads going down a slight hill with a restricted view into the junction left and right. Rather than have a clear plan in place a bit of indecision on whether to stop or not resulted in when I did decide finally to stop I failed to get a foot down quick enough and ........ TIM...BERRRRRRRRRRRR. Luckily both of us and the GS bounced well with no real damage to anything other than my pride. After checking the boss was ok I reverted to embarrassed biker mode looking round to see if anone had seen me drop it only to see 3 blokes running out of the pub across the road to give me a hand to pick the tractor back up. Fortunately adrenaline on my part and unfitness and beer on theirs meant I got her back upright before they reached me. I then crossed the junction to a flat part of the road and waited while SWMBO got back on. I paid more attention to planning my way through junctions when 2 up after thaf

 

1st ride on my current bike, stalled out right in front of a packed wine bar full of sorority girls, soccer moms, and their douchey popped-collared dates.

Stock photo of actual bar, it was more packed than this, like 80% chicks.

 

Early nineties, had a BMW K100RT, my wife an I took holidays in a house lent by an old army friend of my father, lost in a small village in the Hautes-Pyrénées called Asté.
The kind of village with one café, that makes also shop, post office, etc. More cows and sheep than humans.
I was resting outside the house, then heard the old neighbors having a conversation over the palissade about us.
"have you seen the young Parisians staying by ..... there ?"
"Oh yes, the ones with the motorcycle"
"Yes, and it is a BNW " (the N is not a mistake)
"Last I saw there was with a German on it during the war"

 

1970 and I had my Yam 125 and my mate had a lambretta scooter(yuk). Money was tight and my mate wasn't sure if he had enough petrol to get to a particular place and get home. So he lifts the seat and opens the fuel cap. We are both peering intently into the tank but can't see very well. So, I get out my lighter, flicks it on and holds it over the fuel hole. A nice blue flame appears from the open fuel cap. We stare at it for a few seconds expecting it to blow. Then my mate puts his hand over the flame and it goes out. That was a useful learning experience I can tell you.

 

Pulled up behind a dust cart, went to put my foot down and my flairs had got caught up in the kickstart (yes I am that old)
Over I go, much to the amusement of the dustmen.

 

Coming home from work one night I'd barreled past a couple of slow cars on the back lanes I knew well. I'd been leaving my braking later and later at a hairpin, cocked it up and the back wheel started skipping on the rough surface. I made that split decision that we've all probably had to make, I decided I couldn't make it round the corner so carried on braking hard onto other side of road and up a small bank. Ha I thought, well saved. Then remembered about the dawdlers about to catch up with me, so thought I'd do a smart reverse down the bank while turning so I could shoot off and not be noticed. Lost my footing and dropped the trophy 900..... Dawdlers came past but I kept my head down.... nobody stopped to help, but I was a strong lad back then. Did you know those early (92) trophy's had fairings that could bend without breaking?. No real damage done apart to my dignity and the wing mirror....

 

Not so much embarassing as silly. C1970 I had a Dommie 99, and was visiting a friend who was staying at his uncle's remote holiday cottage in the Highlands. One night there was a party at the cottage. He and I rode into Tomintoul to buy more drink, and had a pint or three before heading back to the cottage. I had recently replaced the broken headlight switch with a new car-type toggle switch on the headlamp, and this was the first time I had ridden in the dark since fitting it. A sharp bend came up and I braked hard. The brake cable flexed and switched the lights off. The road disappeared, and the Norton and two slightly inebriated young idiots subsided giggling into a soft but dry ditch, fortunately without injury to any of us...

 

Back in the 70s a mate of mine bought one of those new Kawasaki Z1 900 things. I was used to those 650/750 British bikes, which weren't quite as rapid. I went pillion once to see how quick this beast really was. We were coming up to a set of lights at about 30mph, the lights went to amber and i made the mistake of relaxing my hands on the grab bar. My mate just opened it up and i was off the back possibly performing a "triple lutz" on route to kissing the tarmac. Pride and helmet took a bashing but other than that all was good, i jumped back on and we all had a good laugh down the pub later.

 

At the age of 18, I started my motorcycle license training. I had no experience with motorized 2-wheelers before that, only knowledge of cycling. So in my first driving lesson at a practice range, I had some beginner challenges with the interaction of clutch, throttle and brakes. The driving instructor always gave me instructions from some distance what to do. At that point, he just overestimated my abilities and underestimated his supposed safe distance from me. In the progress of a gear change, I let the clutch "snap" by mistake and then, with too much gas and a resulting wheelie on the rear wheel, I "smashed" over the edge of a sidewalk into the bushes behind it, right next to the driving instructor. The instructor got to his safety at the last moment with the words of a Spanish torrero "Ole".
Nothing happened to either the machine or me. I then had the nickname "Spanish rider" for the rest of the course.

 

Upon arrival to undertake my test many years ago there was no parking in the usual spaces associated with the test centre meaning I had to park on a rather steep hill, I say rather it was bloody steep. No problem with a side stand.
Anyway back then the first part of the test was a ‘Show me tell me’ The first on this occasion unfortunately being show me how to test the steering head bearings. I explained that it wasnt appropriate based on where the bike was parked however he insisted I did it.
Fast forward i easily put the bike onto the centre bike stand but I knew there wasnt a cat in hells chance of getting it off again. Mianly due to the requirement to stand on the n/s of the bike. I couldnt reach the brake owing to the gradient impacting my position relative to the handlebars.
Law and behold when i exerted sufficient force to push it off the stand the bike fell over and threw me over it. The instructor froze in disbelief and to my surprise the test continued.
During the remaining part of the practical I didn’t get a single minor but had obviously failed before setting off.

 

My first time riding on a dirt road ! Up a steep hill , had to turn around as the road ended, just shy of the summit/top. So I did the usual. Lean right and begin my turn !! Only thing was ... Too slow .. Too loose a surface ... ! So bike and I did a perfect impression of Humpty Dumpty and did an egg roll down the hill ! With all the Kings men watching , well at least a dozen mate's who almost all rolled over laughing , only my pride and a few bruises , I'd managed to fall under the bike and save it from damage. Glad it was a smallish and lite Honda cb 500 !!