This made me laugh

Him / Her ? looks like they are doing their best to eat all the white people, so sad when humans (and I use that term lightly) have this deep-seated need for attention

 

.

 

I’ve got a jar full of various coinage leftover from traveling, most of which got replaced by the euro.

 

I've got a jar full of old sixpences.... only God knows why.

 

God bless the Pope.....

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-55011152

Alfie

 

A couple take in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath but the woman of the house told her they didn't have a bath but if she wanted to she could use a tin bath in front of the fire.......
"Monday's the best night, when my husband goes out to darts," she said.
The girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday....
After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the woman filled the bath and watched the girl get undressed. She was surprised to see that the lass didn't have any pubic hair. She mentioned this to her husband when he came home. He didn't believe her, so she said:
"Next Monday, don?t go to darts. I'll leave a gap in the curtains so you can see for yourself.."
So the following Monday, while the girl again got undressed, the wife asked:
"Do you shave?"
"No," replied the girl. "I've just never grown any hairs down there. Do you have hair?"
"Oh, yes," said the woman, and she showed the girl that indeed, she was far from hairless.
When the girl went to bed the husband came in, and the wife asked:
"Did you see it?"
"Yes," he said, "but why the hell did you have to show her yours."
"Why not?" she said. "You've seen it before."
"I know," he said, "but the darts team hadn't!!

 

Superb !

 

Ha ha
I got caught out once working in the middle of nowhere
No toilet to be found
So went in the back of my van and did it into an old hard hat
Threw it into the bushes and left all the doors open while I finished the job

 

Posted in the wrong section.
This should have been in the :-
DO NOT VIEW UNLESS ACCOMPANIED BY YOUR COUNSELLOR Section

 

Handful of Doc leaves have saved many a day, as long as there where no nettles among them

 

.

 

My sister got caught short and dashed into an alleyway behind some bins. Dropped her knickers, hoisted her skirt, and had a pee.

Once she finished she got a round of applause from a few lads drinking beer on a balcony - so she curtsied and then fled the scene!

 

Quiz: Name the song title.

 

Honestly some folk will take offence at anything, I met a bloke with no legs this morning while at the bus stop, all I asked was ‘How are you getting on?

 

Just as well none of us were in that bellends path!

 

Hey that’s wor lass and she’s not a bellend she was distracted