This made me laugh

Sorted it

 

Compared to some of you lot I feel as thou I'm in the first hot flush of yooth
Please note all my misspelling is intentional I love to murder the English language

 

As I said all mis spelling is intentional

 

Should that not be the manopause

 

This is personal and true, I was born in Aberdeen, but very soon after I was in a an adoption centre in LONDON as for reasons I have never been able to find out, but soon adopted and lived in firstly Basildon, then Canvey Island, how-ever not content with one kid to bring up under very suspicious circumstances they got another, who was very much darker than me, as time went by I got fed up with hearing 'Jacks a lot darker than his brother' but they (parents) never admitted to the adoption.
We found out later that Jack was half or part Spanish!
One day, same old comment, I was about 10 at the time, I answered by saying,,,,,,,,,,,'Mum changed milkmen!'
Fan, shit,the, hit, re-arrange.
I was born in Scotland although I never knew it, hated Essex, and NEVER felt English although I never knew until later!
Work that one out!

 

You are Scottish of course you hated being ripped from your land of birth
Then again doesn't every one hate Essex?

 

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2Qqk2h/:1SZo3PStz:g+GU8QPn/weknowmemes.com/2012/05/australian-trolling

 

WTF

Research continues into the best temperature for cooking chips,( I assume)

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2HZGnH/:h8+6sM_D:qPydZf9-/www.youtube.com/watch

 

Highlighter pens,they're the future

You mark my words!

 

Just watched Blues Brothers 2000, now that made me laugh, and brilliant music too!

 

Paddy McCoy, an elderly Irish farmer, received a letter from the Department for Work & Pensions stating that they suspected he was not paying his employees the statutory minimum wage and they would send an inspector to interview them.

On the appointed day, the inspector turned up.
"Tell me about your staff," he asked Paddy.
"Well," said Paddy, "there's the farm hand, I pay him €240 a week, and he has a free cottage.
Then there's the housekeeper. She gets €190 a week, along with free board and lodging.
There's also the half-wit. He works a 16 hour day, does 90% of the work, earns about €25 a week along with a bottle of whisky and, as a special treat, occasionally gets to sleep with my wife."

"That's disgraceful" said the inspector, "I need to interview the half-wit."

"That'll be me then," said Paddy.

 

So Batman came up to me & he hit me over the head with a vase & he went "T'PAU!"

I said "Don't you mean KAPOW??

He said "No, I've got china in my hand."

 

Begger- that means I will have to get a bigger garage.

 

wearing "crocs" on a bike - shameful!