This made me laugh

why did they not spell places like you say them,Scotland has several towns that you would struggle to pronounce correctly IE... Milngavie =Mill-guy Kirkcudbright =Kirkcoobray Culzean= Kull-ane Kilconquhar=Kin-uck-ar Auchenshuggle=Aw-Ken-Shuggle..loads more just cant think of them just now

 

Have you thought of putting a book together ? (Pronounced buk)

 

The traffic police office in Sheffield is located on Letsby Avenue. ( I kid you not, google it)

 

That would be me! Just been for a long walk with the hounds and had my daily average share. One of the dogs was directly behind me - the vets say plenty of oxygen and he'll recover.

But the dogs don't fart - no, never

 

Priceless !!!

 

Woman accidentally puts her bottom on the wrong, then goes to the bike show!!!

 

Maybe she has a swively head like her from the exorcist

 

Her feet are even facing the other way!!!

 

she also seems to have 5 fingers on her right hand but no thumb

 

Which part do you suppose the old guy is laughing at?

 

What do you call an irishman sitting in your garden?

Patty `O Furniture.

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking after a housefire.

 

Come on, you scared me!

 

I was in the pub the other day when I spotted two "plus size" ladies sat at the bar who were speaking in a strange accent. I went up and asked "are you two ladies from Scotland?" They said, "wales its wales you idiot!" "Oh sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?"

 

I thought that was just brilliant !!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

There's a Bell End in Rowley Regis (in The Black Country), and better still it turns into Mincing Lane......