This made me laugh

Gerald the Gorilla - "Wild? Wild? I was ABSOLUTELY livid!!!"

Classic comedy

 

Bearded married men are liable to stray more than a bearded married women

Dave

 

Only been once and never again, nice hotel, shite food, constant pestering to the point of real annoyance when your on your hols.
I'm not good at being lazy and it bored me to death, first holiday ever that I was glad to leave.
Everybody I spoke to had the runs including me for the last week plus another 3 weeks when I got home, and I was bloody careful, hence the 'El Shite'
I can appreciate the scuba diving aspect and I have mates who used to go every year, the place is just not for me, there are far nicer places to visit in my humble opinion.

 

We were on full board in what was classed as a 6 star luxury hotel, but it didn't stop them pestering you all day long to use 'other' resturaunts on their site which you had to pay for. Boat trips, scuba trips, camel rides, sun cream, hats, massages, historical site visits, coach trips, aeroplane trips etc. etc. Will you F**k Off and leave us alone.
Armed guards on the main gate and hotel front entrance, like being in Alcatraz.
Do I want all that on my hard earned holidays ? Like F**k I do!
This should probably have been in the 'Rant' forum not 'This made me laugh'

 

I'm still chuckling!

 

A husband and wife were driving through Scotland. As they approached Drumnadrocket, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?" She leaned over the counter and said, "Burrr-gerrr Kiiing."

 

Old ones are best

What do you call a blonde with a brain? A golden retriever.

 

did they not argue about the spelling of Drumnadrochit!

 

Ha ha, I don't think that they even have a Burger king, last time I was there some bloke was selling deep fried mars bars from a van down by the car park.
Put that down as a dumb old bloke joke!

 

What's the difference between an egg and a good w**k

You can beat an egg!

 

Huh ?????????????????????????????????


Oh, I think I just got it. Anything to do with listening out for.....................................

 

only if your feeling guilty