Hello from Aberdeen

ya beter na stert the doric naybody will hae a clue fit yer takin aboot

 

doon the street in the kilt i'll go

 

is that the english version Say after me Wayne.. Donald whares yer troosers

 

Nay idea Jez, i know they used to lift them up to scare the English

 

Mare aboot wipping em oot to scare thee others aheed of ya

 

Nowt like a wee scot or a biggin comin for ya wee penis envy, mak anybody run lol

 

your'e right Wayne it was a bloody English guy who invented the kilt as we know it today before then it looked more like one of those tartan travel rugs they wrapped around themselves

 

tartan picnic rug, come clothes, come blanket, come bath towel, come toilet paper etc etc etc
Hell no wonder people was scared and ran !!!

 

A Scotsman is working at a sewerage plant. It's a warm day, so he takes off his jacket and drapes it over a handrail - where it slips off into a massive tank of shit !!
He's just about to dive in when his mate shouts "Hamish It's nae guid tae do that, the jacket's ruined man"
Hamish replies "Aye, ah ken, but ma sandwiches are in the pocket"

 

A Scots boy came home from school and told his mother he had been given a part in the school play. "Wonderful," says the mother, "What part is it?" The boy says "I play the part of the Scottish husband!" The mother scowls and says: "Go back and tell your teacher you want a speaking part."

 

A very popular Scotsman dies in Glasgow and his old widow wishes to tell all his friends all at once so she goes to the newspaper and says
"I'd like tae place an obituary fur ma late husband" The man at the desk says "OK, how much money dae ye have?"
The old woman replies "£5" to which the man says "You wont get many words for that but write something and we'll see if it's ok" so the old woman writes something and hands it over the counter and the man reads - "Peter Reid, fae Parkheid, deid"
He feels guilty at the abruptness of the statement and encourages the old woman to write a few more things. The old woman ponders and then adds a few more words and hand the paper over the counter again. The man then reads - "Peter Reid, fae Parkheid deid. Ford Escort for sale"

 

Hey Tez i'm sure i put the video of that joke up on here somewhere,it's by a Scotish radio Presenter Robin Galloway who telephones people up live on air as "Hector Brocklebank" if you look on youtube type in "Peter Reid is deed" His calls were hilarious (If you are Scottish!) the best one i think is "25 tons of fash" he speaks in the "Doric" which if you are not Scottish you might have trouble understanding ! i know i put that on here somewhere