This made me laugh

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Havit, Sep 23, 2015.

  1. steve lovatt

    steve lovatt Something else

    May 12, 2014
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  2. TEZ 217

    TEZ 217 Crème de la Crème

    Mar 6, 2016
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    TEACHER SAYS -

    A class of five-year old schoolchildren return to the classroom after playing in the playground during their break time.

    The teacher says to the first child ''Hello Becky, what have you been doing this Playtime?''

    Becky replies ''I have been playing in the sand box.''
    ''Very good,'' says the teacher ''if you can spell 'sand' on the blackboard, I will give you a biscuit.''

    Becky duly goes and writes 's a n d' on the blackboard.

    ''Very good,'' says the teacher and gives Becky a biscuit.

    The teacher then says,''Freddie, what have you been doing in your playtime?''

    Freddie replies, ''Playing with Becky in the sand box.''

    ''Very good,'' says the teacher, ''if you can spell 'box' on the blackboard, I will also give you a biscuit.''

    Freddie duly goes and writes 'b o x' on the blackboard.

    ''Very good,'' says the teacher and gives Freddie a biscuit.


    Teacher then says,''Hello Mohammed, have you been playing in the sand box with Becky and Freddie?''

    ''No,'' replies Mohammed, ''I wanted to, but they would not let me. Every time I went near them they started throwing sand at me, calling me nasty names and asking to see under my jacket in case I had explosives.''

    ''Oh dear,'' says the teacher, ''that sounds like blatant racial discrimination to me -

    I'll tell you what, if you can spell 'blatant racial discrimination' I will give you a biscuit.''
     
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  3. Havit

    Havit Admin
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  4. H.O.

    H.O. Noble Member

    Nov 28, 2015
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    More of a Keystone Cops man myself.
     
  5. Havit

    Havit Admin
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    Sister Mary Katherine entered the
    Monastery of Silence. The Priest said,
    'Sister, this is a silent monastery. You
    are welcome here as long as you like,
    but you may not speak until I direct
    you to do so.'
    Sister Mary Katherine lived in the
    monastery for 5 years before the Priest
    said to her, 'Sister Mary Katherine, you
    have been here for 5 years. You can
    speak two words.'
    Sister Mary Katherine said, 'Hard bed.'
    'I'm sorry to hear that,' the Priest said,
    'We will get you a better bed.'
    After another 5 years, Sister Mary
    Katherine was called by the Priest.
    'You
    may say another two words, Sister Mary
    Katherine.
    'Cold food,' said Sister Mary Katherine,
    and the Priest assured her that the food
    would be better in the future.
    On her 15th anniversary at the
    monastery, the Priest again called Sister
    Mary Katherine into his office. 'You
    may say two words today.'
    'I quit,' said Sister Mary Katherine.
    'It's probably best', said the Priest,
    'You've done fuck all but moan since
    you've been here.
     
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  6. Havit

    Havit Admin
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  7. Havit

    Havit Admin
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  8. Havit

    Havit Admin
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  9. Havit

    Havit Admin
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  10. Havit

    Havit Admin
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  11. Havit

    Havit Admin
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  12. Rooster

    Rooster Grumpy Member
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    Sep 14, 2015
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  13. Havit

    Havit Admin
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  14. Havit

    Havit Admin
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  15. Rooster

    Rooster Grumpy Member
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    I need one of these.

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  16. Havit

    Havit Admin
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  17. Sceptic Al

    Sceptic Al Well-Known Member

    Some of use have a bit of class and only ' borrow' the special ones such as Spitfire,
     
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  18. thebiglad

    thebiglad Old fart, still riding !

    Sep 25, 2013
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    There is something very wrong with that bloke !!!!!
     
  19. thebiglad

    thebiglad Old fart, still riding !

    Sep 25, 2013
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    Good one !!!!!!
     
  20. Havit

    Havit Admin
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