This made me laugh

I’ve bought one of these to spice things up in the bedroom….. does anyone know how you put them on?

 

Three older women are sitting in the same row of an airplane when the pilot announces the plane will be crash landing in the ocean.
The blue blood started pulling all her her jewelry out of her bags and putting it on. When the other two questioned her she stated,"Come on girls. The rescuers are going to see the light sparkling on my jewelry and rescue me first!
The noveau rich responded by pulling packets of cash out of her bags and stuffing them into her bra and panties. When the other two questioned her she said,"Come on girls. The rescuers will be able to follow the trail of cash floating on the water and rescue me first!
The third woman, a black woman started pulling off all her clothes. When the other two questioned her she said, " Come on girls. You know they always look for the black box first!"

 

We need to stop picking at President Biden's supposed inaccuracies and verbal missteps and focus on the things he gets 100% right.

Like this:

 

What does a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?
They both can smell it, but not taste it.

 

Hidden, my ass!

 

On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."