This made me laugh

That's too bad, that is when they'll be closed for maintenance work.

 

I would have liked to go too, but I can't af-fjord it!

 

I better cancel my autopasseferje

 

In a similar vein....

 

Pulled a nose hair out earlier to see if it hurt.



Judging by the reaction of the man asleep next to me on the bus, it seems pretty painful...

 

These were sent to me by a friend who is over seventy (I'm not quite there yet). He's 79. Five years ago when he was 74 (if my math serves me correctly) he and a buddy rode their Victory motorcycles to Atlantic City, NJ and dipped their toes into the Atlantic Ocean. They then rode across the U.S.A. until they got to California. They dipped their toes in the Pacific Ocean, turned around and rode back to NJ!

She said "You're kinda cute You gotta phone number?" I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?" She said, "Yeah, I got a pen". I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you." Cost me 6 stitches..but,

When you’re over seventy..............who cares?

**********
I went to the drug store and told the clerk "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please." Lady Clerk: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?”; I said "Nah... She's purty good lookin'....."

When you’re over seventy.............who cares?

***********
I was talking to a young woman in the VFW last night. She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.”; I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”; Cost me a fat lip, but..

When you’re over seventy..............who cares?

**********
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.

When you’re over seventy..............who cares?

**********
I went to our VFW last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table. I said, "Good legs." The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?" I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now." Cost me 6 more stitches, but..

When you’re over seventy..............who cares?

 

My dad was a Fjord man. He had a Thunderbird.

 

.

 

I didn't realise it was real
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...emorial-plaque-man-used-shout-f-seagulls.html