This made me laugh

Yeah, sent it to a mate and he replied
“Was never good at catchphrase”

 

Every time I see a 'gull, I think of poor @andypandy on one of the Scotland tours...
Poor bugger had his sea-food platter robbed by one, raging he was

 

That was bad-ass.

 

He never shared that one Andy lol

 

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I hear they are developing a mind controlled air freshener… it makes scents if you think about it!

 

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koFrPs_80gQ

At 34m13s you'll find that joke. Then again, if you know who Bob was, perhaps grew up with him on your tv, usually just game shows, this is worth watching all the way through.

 

That explains a lot.

 

The police have found a large number of dead crows on the A1081 just outside Harpenden early this morning and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.
A pathologist examined the remains of all the crows and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Avian Flu
The cause of death appeared to be from vehicular impacts however, during analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws.
By analysing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with motorcycles, while only 2% were killed by cars.
The investigators then hired an ornithological behaviourist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of motorcycle kills versus cars. The ornithological behaviourist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger.
They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Car!" not a single one could shout "Bike!"

 

I say again...

 

"Why Doesn't America Use The Metric System…"


"…Because for the last 250 or so years we haven't given the slightest fuck what Europe thinks."

But the next time a near pear enemy threatens the UK you can bet your ass we'll be there for ya. Know what I mean?

 

Try watching the video. You might learn something. I did.

 

Interesting video, however, the metric system would wreck music.

Andy Williams - "Moon river - wider than a kilometer..."

Joe South - "Walk a kilometer in my shoes..."

The Who - "I can see for kilometers and kilometers..."

George Thorogood - "I walked 75.639168 kilometers of barbed wire..."

The Proclaimers - " And I would walk 804.672 kilometers and I would walk 804.672 more..."

Harry Chapin - "Through the too many kilometers and the too little smiles I still remember you..."

Martha and the Vandellas - "Sugar chile, I 'd walk me a country kilometer
just to be with you..."

Pink - "I can go for kilometers, if you know what I mean..."

The Bee Gees - "The preacher talked to me and he smiled. Said, "Come and walk with me. Come and walk one more kilometer..."

And Aerosmith wouldn't even bother to whip out their big ten centimeter because they'd be laughed at (3.9 inches).

Finally,

If we convert everything to the metric system, with there being 5,878,625,373,184 miles in a light year, the Rolling Stones "2000 Light Years From Home" would be, uh...well, a shit-ton of kilometers from home!