This made me laugh

effin cats

 

.

 

.

 

Well I thought someone else would say it so I will
Nice pussy

 

The thought did strike me, but I was too polite to express it.

 

Don't get it

 

Matt Hancock dumping child seat shortly after dumping the wife and kids.

 

He had an affair. Despite millions of people across the world doing the same and not resigning their jobs because they have wandering hands or were in a loveless marriage, being a political figure means you must do neither. Just suffer in silence.

 

Politicians normally get away with having affairs, although it generally gives rise to some ribaldry from us plebs. Bunter himself has not exactly been a model of chastity, and is thought by his supporters to be a bit of a lad as a result. Hancock's problem was that his job involved telling everyone else to keep their distance from people outside their own household, while he himself had demonstrably been doing the opposite, which destroyed his credibility as health minister..

 

The exception is the close working teams people have to have regular close contact. Regardless of industry. Thankfully for the SNP they have so many questionable activities that Wee Jimmy having an affair would be a light relief. Comical in fact.

Edit: Yet another unsolicited Bunter quip.

Edit 2: I believe Bunters phone number is on the internet should you wish to ask him out.

 

He was having "regular close contact" alright, although not, I suspect, as part of his "working team" duties, despite being conducted in the office. Most workplaces would regard that as gross misconduct, so I don't agree that he has been hard done to because he is a politician.
Not sure about the reason for the unsolicited Wee Jimmy/SNP quip: I suspect you are a closet Bunterite. (I wouldn't touch him myself - don't know where he's been.) I'll bow to your superior knowledge about his mobile number.

 

Anyway, enough about politicians. Here's something funnier.

 

THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU MARRY A SCOTTISH GIRL

Three friends married women from different parts of the world.....

The first man married a Greek girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.....
...
The second man married a Thai girl. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.....

The third man married a girl from Scotland . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. The first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything either but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he urinates.