This made me laugh

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*Something here to offend everyone - in every sense...*

Now on sale at IKEA - beds for lesbians: no nuts or screwing involved, it's all tongue and groove.

A Muslim has been shot with a starting pistol; police say it's definitely race related.

Due to a water shortage in Ireland , Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8.

I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency.

The lead actor in the local pantomime production of Aladdin was anally raped by the gay genie on stage last night - to be fair the audience did try to warn him.

Such an unfair world. When a man talks dirty to a woman its considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man its £2.50/min (charges may vary)

Got stopped in the street outside Boots today by a woman with a clipboard asking "What products do I use for grooming?" She was a bit taken aback when I replied, "TikTok".

Just booked a table for Valentine's Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though - she's crap at snooker.

Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then. God, I love my new Taser!


If you get an email telling you that you can catch Swine Flu from tins of ham then delete it. It's Spam.

They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Now correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 6 months is going to shift this beer belly.

When I was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream and put a cherry on my head. Yeah, life was tough in the gateaux...

 

One can only speculate about the background to this one. Is the University of Alabama peopled by unusually tall and well-endowed young men? Unusually tall and athletic young women?, Or is it the buttons that have the genitalia? (In which case, I certainly wouldn't need to be warned not to click one.) Do we even want to know?

 

The was a Bradford one that I took out. A bit too much.
yes, that’s the best one!

 

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I think those filters that make your eyes look like anime also work on boobies with much the same effect.

 

Certainly make mine look big.
Oops!

 

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Anyone for offloading?

 

Off roading - hate productoive toxty

 

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