This made me laugh

Yeeeeeeeeesssssssssss very good.

 

Triffik

 

All of the 10 senior members of the Board of Directors of the
company were called into the chairman's office one by one until only Bob,
the junior member, was left sitting outside.
Finally it was his turn to be summoned.
He entered the office to find the chairman and the 10 other directors
seated around a table.
He was invited to join them, which he did.
As soon as he had sat down the chairman turned to Bob looking him squarely
in the eye, and with a stern voice, asked "Have you ever had sex with Mrs.
Foyt, my Secretary?"
"Oh, no sir, positively not!" Bob replied.
"Are you absolutely sure?" asked the chairman "Honest, I've never been
close enough to even touch her!"
"You'd swear to that?"
"Yes, I swear I've never had sex with Mrs. Foyt anytime, anywhere."
"Good.... then you fire her."

 

A woman wrote to tech support, and their reply is a stroke of genius...


This young woman is no different from the rest of us; both family happiness and heartbreak are familiar to her. She is simply looking for an answer to her questions. How do you maintain a relationship? How do you bring back the excitement of the first date?

She wrote a letter to the tech support to find her answers. She sent the letter as a joke and only remembered about it when she suddenly received an email notification with a response.



Dear Tech Support,’Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as: Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House-cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?


Signed,
Desperate


Dear Desperate,"First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.



However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) In addition, please, do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.


Good Luck!

Tech Support

 

4 Ladies meet after 30 years at a school reunion.

One goes to get the food while the other 3 start to talk about how successful their sons became.

No. 1 says her son studied economics, became a banker and is so rich, he gave his best friend a Ferrari.

No. 2 said her son became a pilot, started his own airline became so rich, he gave his best friend a jet.

No. 3 said her son became an engineer, started his own development company became so rich, he build his best friend a castle.

No 4. came back with a plate full of food and asked what the buzz was about. They told her they were talking about how successful their sons became and asked her about her son.

She said her son is gay and he works in a gay bar. The other 3 said she must be very disappointed with her son for not
becoming successful.

"Oh noooo!!" said the Lady, “He is doing good. Last week on his birthday he got a Ferrari, a jet and a castle from 3 of his boyfriends".

 

Theory busted

 

This was when Dave realised he had f**ked up.

https://www.facebook.com/thesportfather/videos/1006189052807509/

 

Big Ooooooooops !!!!!!