This made me laugh

The NFL Raiders used to have a mantra, "Speed kills" -meaning speed kills the enemy

(because their team at the time had some of the fastest players in the NFL). That made more sense to me.​

 

..

 

SMUG PILOTS

Two pilots in a plane approach a runway, first pilot says bloody hell that runway looks too short, copilot says you're the world's best you can make it, so full flaps and stall the plane a few feet above the leading edge of the runway with the brakes already locked. They touch down and skid across the runway until the nosewheel drops off the runway into soft mud and they stop. They both get out and start kissing the ground. Then the pilot looks around laughs, and says stupid f**king engineer made the runway 4000 feet wide!

 

Yes, but remove all traces of nachos.

 

Especially the jalapenos!!!

 

To be fair you may have other things to worry about being that low....

 

only after they have been eaten.

 

Riding home for Christmas.

 

Cliff Richard was on the Yorkshire Ripper documentary, apparently Cliff was very excited to be introduced to him as he thought they said “This is Peter Suck Cliff”!

 

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This
Ken.

 

I never had a Grandma like this one.
Ken.

 

Taking the pee.....????