Cover Your Chap Gap

Oh dear God! Is that for real, surely it's a piss take?! I thought chaps were only for your ...erm Village People/Brokeback mountain types and I certainly wouldn't add further ridiculousness to the package with the 'Chap Gap'. Why not do what the Native Americans do (nearly called them 'Indians' there, oh hell! My apologies for my racist slip) and have a plain rectangular flap of leather fore and aft if you need anything at all. Always wondered why the Native Americans had that on their trousers I guess it's so that they could ride their Indian, sorry, Native American motorcycles in comfort.

 

What you brits don't understand is HD is an American culture based on a "man's" image aka penis extension, two wheeled Viagra, a can of whoop ass, a city dweller with a big ass truck, a Corvette once you can't get it up, hey look at me cause I'm noisy, etc.

https://images.app.goo.gl/G91JZAFnTyhCNWTNA

https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https://cdn.motor1.com/images/mgl/AJqPx/s1/2019-ford-f-150-harley-davidson-edition.jpg&imgrefurl=https://www.motor1.com/news/304080/harley-davidson-ford-f150-teased/&tbnid=JWyNAyF8GOWQ9M&vet=1&docid=3xuKzkxLu7-jIM&w=1920&h=1080&hl=en&source=sh/x/im

https://images.app.goo.gl/YiyjEFLbqA2osqm27

The list goes on and on to infinity and beyond

 

Woops I forgot one

https://images.app.goo.gl/Azh4S4YN17FMWZ3Z8

 

Oh Dear God in Heaven!!! Hawg Skins Afraid Harleys don't move me at all, hate the riding position, don't really like the sound and they seem a bit, well, ungainly to put it simply. Alright if you have roads that don't include much in the way of bends but I prefer more bends than straights (on the road that is!) Nah, give me a Brit any day! Here Harleys are definitely Penis extensions as well and are largely the province of Doctors, Lawyers and company directors who want to play 'Hells Angels' at the weekend.

 

It comes from the American Cowboy past , chaps provide the protection , when you get where your going , you chuck them in your bags so you have a clean ( relatively ) set of pants to go into the Saloon . Traditions die hard. They work for my Harley , I wear full leathers on my Thruxton ..

 

Spose the female equivalent of a Chap Gap is a Chick Pea?

 

No, we get it. Americans find our capacity to ‘rip the piss’ (mock, mock and mock some more) equally difficult to understand. We find machismo hugely entertaining for all the wrong reasons. The US comedies that travel best are not so much Frasier as Rambo and the Terminator!

 

I must admit that I always thought the simple reason for the existence of chaps was that any saddlemaker and probably your average cowboy with some knowledge of leatherwork could create a pair of roughly tubular bits of leather with a loop at the top for your belt to go through and therefore provide a horse rider with leggings to protect him from thorns etc. but that it took real skill to make leather trousers as covering your 'chap gap' and ass crack ain't nowhere near so easy. It must have been an odd look in the saloon on a saturday night with your lovely clean legs and filthy crotch and ass.
Definitely not a piece of clothing I wish to adopt anyway, either full leather trousers or armoured combats for me or even plain ripstop combats.

 

According to "a friend" scented Vaseline is best for chaps.

 

Nope definitely not. Put simply I think they look feckin' stupid. Even thought they looked feckin' stupid in cowboy movies. The cool guys always had proper trousers that included a crotch.

 

I've been meaning to buy draggin liners Kevlar long johns you wear under plain trousers. So the visible cheap trousers can be washed or tossed if soiled or damaged. Kevlar liners might last ten years or more.

On a side note today I was in the bad cowboy area of town today where in the 1870-1890 the cowboys would drive their cattle herds. Saloons, gambling houses, whore houses, opium dens. There was an historical plaque indicating such. Also said the prostitutes would have a foot race on weekends. Where they ran through town naked.

 

Obviously an extra for those yanks who like their balls shaved...

 

I'd really need a "chap sleeping bag" if anyone has seen one of them???

 

Hey! I own a pair of those and they are perfect for doing the Texas Two-step.

How do you know you're doing the Texas Two-step right?

By the wet spot on your thigh.

Edit: The boots, not the chaps.