This made me laugh

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Havit, Sep 23, 2015.

  1. Kenbro

    Kenbro Noble Member

    Jul 9, 2019
    830
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    Manchester, UK
    For all the JD drinkers.
    Ken.

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  2. Sandi T

    Sandi T It's ride o'clock somewhere!
    Subscriber

    Dec 3, 2018
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    This is one way to socially distance! And probably a pretty effective one, too.

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  3. JtC

    JtC Elite Member

    Apr 20, 2020
    2,720
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    New Mexico
    . . .

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    • Funny Funny x 12
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  4. freck

    freck Elite Member

    May 4, 2017
    1,718
    750
    Preston, Lancs, UK
    .

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    • Funny Funny x 18
  5. Windy

    Windy First Class Member

    Aug 16, 2019
    567
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    Shropshire
    #21725 Windy, Jun 24, 2020
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2020
     
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  6. johne

    johne Standing on the shoulders of dwarves.

    Jan 16, 2020
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    Where the Wolds meet the sea
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  7. DanielB

    DanielB Noble Member

    Jan 13, 2019
    881
    393
    Abingdon, Oxfordshire
    I needed some DIY bits so I decided to go to B&Q.

    I rang first, and spoke to some chap, as I didn't want to be hanging around, "Hi there" I said, "how big is the queue?"
    "Hold on, I'll go check" said the bloke.
    He came back a minute later..."How big is the queue...it's about the same size as the B"!
    :joy::joy:
     
    • Funny Funny x 8
  8. SleepyOwl

    SleepyOwl Crème de la Crème

    Jul 26, 2019
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  9. Timmy Tucker

    Timmy Tucker Elite Member

    Apr 20, 2019
    3,174
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    Newmarket
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  10. Sandi T

    Sandi T It's ride o'clock somewhere!
    Subscriber

    Dec 3, 2018
    22,376
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    Tucson Arizona
    It gets a little hot and dry here in Arizona in the summer.

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  11. Sandi T

    Sandi T It's ride o'clock somewhere!
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    Dec 3, 2018
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    Meanwhile, back in the holler....

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    • Funny Funny x 17
  12. Don the Don

    Don the Don Bigger Than The Average Bear

    Nov 5, 2019
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    MORAY UK
    A few of us put some of that moonshine down our necks in the blue ridge mountains, "christ" you could have stripped paint with it, I was seeing goblins and singing lewd songs after just a few I can tell you.
     
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  13. DCS222

    DCS222 Guest

    Frank is 85 and lives in a Senior Citizens Home. Every night after dinner he goes to a secluded garden behind the home to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life. One evening, Mildred, age 82, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat and before they know it, several hours have passed.

    After a short lull in their conversation, Frank turns to Mildred and asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?"

    She asks, "What?''

    "Sex." he replies.

    Mildred exclaims, "Why you old toot. You couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!"

    "I know," Frank says, "but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for awhile."

    "Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it.

    Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Frank's thingie.

    Then one night Frank didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find him and make sure he was O.K.

    She walked around the Senior Citizen Home where she found him sitting by the pool with Ethel, another female resident, who was holding Frank's little pal!

    Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing son-of-a-gun!! What does Ethel have that I don't have?"

    Old Frank smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's"
     
    • Funny Funny x 16
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  14. Vulpes

    Vulpes Confused Member

    Mar 14, 2018
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    [​IMG]
     
    • Funny Funny x 7
    • WTF WTF x 2
  15. Vulpes

    Vulpes Confused Member

    Mar 14, 2018
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    • Funny Funny x 16
  16. Big Sandy

    Big Sandy WOOF! WOOF!

    Nov 14, 2018
    2,369
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    Fuck off you nosy cunt
    • Funny Funny x 14
  17. Big Sandy

    Big Sandy WOOF! WOOF!

    Nov 14, 2018
    2,369
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    Fuck off you nosy cunt
    As I am typing I wonder what people who type “u” instead of “you” do with all of their spare time?



    Question of the day. Where am I? I am adrift on a boat somewhere in between Hawaii and Japan.

    That's about as Pacific as I can be.



    This morning, I read on BBC News that Big Ben is to be silenced for another 4 years for maintenance.

    The builders working on it assure us they'll be working around the clock



    Finally I went for a stroll this morning and saw a man carrying an item of sports equipment. I asked him "Are you a pole vaulter?" He said "No I'm German, and how did you know my name is Walter?" :rolleyes:
     
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  18. SleepyOwl

    SleepyOwl Crème de la Crème

    Jul 26, 2019
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  19. SleepyOwl

    SleepyOwl Crème de la Crème

    Jul 26, 2019
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  20. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
    Subscriber

    .

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