This made me laugh

Thanks Jez, you must have peaked you naughty boy!

 

That's why me dog is called Gromett .... he loves cheese

Have I got 2 pups in the box now?

 

Why has this advert suddenly appeared on my screen?



No on mentioned nobs

 

keep going we will soon have a runt in this litter.

 

Beef curtains?

 

a filmmaker shot a soap opera web series called IKEA Heights entirely inside a Burbank, California IKEA without their permission. The creator of the show noticed that the well-lit sets and difficulty in getting the attention of employees made it an ideal location to film a show.

 

Can't see any hairs on that fish, it must be alright to eat

 

Just read your stream of consciousness on dogging, etc. Thought you might like to know that this is a 'thing' !!!



I was told it was what the observers of said dogging did to the doggers car !!!

Maybe why DD wasn't impressed with RainX
But the diamond Brite will definitely help with hosing the car down

 

Just been off the forum for a couple of hours, doing some work. This thread is becoming a race to the bottom...

 

It's not me that's been doing the racing!

 

Bored of this now, no laughs for 4 pages has anyone got anything funny to share

 

@Helmut Visor - here you go, or do you ride a GS, then sorry

 

Two nuns are walking down the street when they notice that a man is following them.



Sister Michael, the older and wiser nun, says to the young and naïve Sister Patrick, "See that crossroad ahead? You go left and I'll go right: he can't follow us both. We'll meet back at the Abbey."

So the sisters part and the man follows Sister Michael.

Some time later, Sister Patrick is anxiously waiting at the Abbey when Sister Michael returns alone.

"Thank the Lord you are alright!", exclaims Sister Patrick. "But what happened to that man?

"Well," replies Sister Michael, "After a few minutes, I stopped and pulled up my dress."

Sister Patrick stares in shock.

"Then," continues Sister Michael, "he stopped and pulled down his trousers."

Sister Patrick gasps. "Oh Sister, why would you let him do that?"

"Because," explains Sister Michael, "a nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his trousers down!"

 

A man goes to see a sex therapist



"My problem is that my neighbour says he can do it six times a night, but I can do barely three"

"Please open your mouth," the therapist says.

The man, now confused, opens his mouth, and the doctor inspects it carefully.

"I see nothing wrong here, so you should be able to lie just like your neighbour."

 

This girl I met on Tinder had a tattoo of a seashell on her innerthigh



If you put your ear against it and listened closely, you could smell the sea.

 

Mr O

After posting that, it will be the pot calling the kettle black if you ban anyone, got enough kin Seagulls by me without that, next time my car is covered I will have to think are they having a dump or knocking one off.

 

Did you hear about the man who was hospitalised with six plastic horses stuffed up his rectum ?

The doctor described his condition as stable.

 

I recommend that HV doesn’t go to the Urban Dictionary to look up “Spronk” then...

 

"My friend doesn’t like to talk about his psoriasis. He’d rather just sweep it under the carpet."

 

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