Little Bastids

Violence
Works all the time

 

Prison ain’t that bad mate

 

Big fecking dog

 

Get a fucking big dog on a fucking long lead.

 

Keep going around there house knocking on the door and run away laughing when they answer.

 

Thats a great idea @darkman

 

Yep, and leave the yard unkempt after the dog

 

Big fence and gates

 

Sounds as if you've done this before...

 

MOVE !!!
Sorry Pete seems obvious answer but not always that easy

 

Run the little fuckers over - simple!

DS

 

You could threaten to tell their parents that you'll leave some kind of sadistic porn mags on the drive for them to find/read and be messed up by? If their parents have any kind of morals, they will soon prevent them even leaving the house - problem solved, nobody gets a stinky shoe and nobody gets banged up.

If the old bill are called, you say the mags aren't yours and that the children must have found them at home so the parents will take the wrap.

Next problem?

 

We had problems with kids at our last house. It was in a nice setting, council and ex council houses round a triangle green with the mandatory 'no ball games' sign. Garages all round the back with an access road for them. Trouble was the kids played football on the green, the ball bounced of everyone's windows, the parent's didn't care, the council didn't care, the police didn't care. Kids played football against the garages at the back with the constant thump against metal garage doors. Again parent's didn't care. I built a picket fence around the front garden, that stopped the kids playing through the garden but the ball kept hitting the windows. Some years were better than others but as kids grew up others took their place. I even stopped some kids trying to break into next doors upstairs window at night but again police didn't care.
In the end as much as I liked the neighbours and the area I had to move. I moved to a house on a busy road, with gardens backing straight onto ours. I didn't want any open spaces around where the kids could play. It worked, I have traffic noise to put up with (did anybody mention noisy pipes at 2am?) and sometimes we have obnoxious neighbors move in but it's a small price to pay. In the end it wasn't worth the stress...
Good luck and I hope you can find a solution or the kids grow up fast and get bored with hassling neighbours. I often wonder if our old house would be better these days as I'm told parent's can't get their kids away from computer games but hearing some of the issues people are having maybe that's just wishful thinking.

 

I know it is incredibly difficult, but the more you react to these kids the more they will do it. They are looking for you get angry. I had problems with kids at the front of my house, I tried all sorts to deter them nothing worked. In the end I just ignored them and after a couple of weeks they got tired moved on.
It may work for you, always worth a try.