This made me laugh

There's nothing like a government that knows what it is doing. And this is certainly nothing like a government that knows what it is doing.

 

This is Carl Fogarty on Lockdown

 

Think he needs to stick to motorbikes.....

 

https://streamable.com/126jxc

 

I like fish finger sandwiches ¥ ;-)

 

Mrs and I were in fits reading this

 

I went to see a doctor to help me stop telling charcuterie jokes, but he said he couldn’t cure me...

 

Wasn't me, was my phone:
It distracted me

 

And how did you Loch Ken that?

 

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi were sitting around drinking coffee.
Someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another, and they decided that each would find a bear and attempt to convert it to their religion.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.
'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Bible.
Well, that bear came after me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb.'

Reverend Billy Bob the Baptist spoke next. He was in a wheelchair and had an IV drip. 'I went out and found me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from the Bible! But that bear came after me. We wrestled down one hill, until we came to a creek. So I quickly dunked him and baptized his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb.

The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him.

The Rabbi looked up and said:

"Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start ".

 

My old girlfriend would have been sick if she knew I'd put ginger in her curry ...... she loved that cat!

 

For sale:

Muhammad Ali DVD collection.

George Foreman grill.

Both boxed.

 

I've kent it for years. And if anyone is looking forward to the end of Loch Doon, it's at Loch Head.

 

Dear mr Trump