This made me laugh

Nobody will nick it now.

 

,

 

Nah!! just a nob on either side

 

Oldfart

 

I put some change in a beggars cup and some woman said "some of them have nice homes you know" I said "not this one, I evicted him yesterday"

 

A. I was jiggling back and forward, cos its difficult to tell if someones wobbly when they get out and supporting them, or bouncing in virtually unsupported.

 

C

 

My children keep finding their Christmas presents that I’ve hidden around the house. Someone suggested that I should just keep them in the loft. So I tried that last night, but their constant crying and whining kept me awake. All the “I’m afraid of the dark” or “I don't like it up here - there are spiders” really got on my nerves. Any other suggestions?

 

,

 

,

 

https://gfycat.com/exhaustedunderstatedbrahmancow

 

...