This made me laugh

That's the best one since sliced bread.

 

I went for the audition yeasterday....could do with them paying though, I knead it!

Decided after the show I'm just going to loaf around.

 

Come on guys, you're making a whole meal out of this bread thing now

 

You old Crusty.

 

Just using our loaf.....

 

A general store owner hires a young attractive female clerk who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the length of her skirt and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea. "I'd like some raisin bread please", the man says politely. The female clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, which is located on the very top shelf. The young man standing almost directly beneath her is provided with an excellent view, just as he surmised he would be. Once she descends the ladder he muses that he really should get two loaves as he's having company for dinner. As the clerk retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices whats going on. Thinking quickly, he requests his own loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With each trip up the ladder the young lady seems to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty soon each male patron is asking for raisin bread, just to see the clerk climb up and down. After many trips shes tired, irritated and thinking that she is really going to have to try this bread for herself! Finally, once again atop the ladder, she stops and fumes, glaring at the men standing below. She notices an elderly man standing amongst the crowd staring up at her. Thinking to save herself a trip, she yells at the elderly man, "Is yours raisin too?" "No," says the old man "....... But its startin' to twitch."

 

That's made me croiss, ant I could do without it

 

Crumbs...

 

Doh

 

Merchant of Venice, Act 3, scene 2. (Bassanio's song.....)

 

Groan...

 

I'll toast to that ......

 

Ok, I think it's time to baguette, guys.

 

Don’t get a cob on lass!!!

(Have fun looking that one up! <wink>)