This made me laugh

Heck, my wife needs some new knickers. She obviously hasn’t bought any new ones since the 1700s!

 

If she was around in the 1700s you need a new wife

 

You're right, Big Sandy. Technically speaking and distance-wise, if the roll is full, the "end" is even nearer.

 

Yeppers.........

 

PARKING TICKET: My wife and I went into town and visited a shop. When we came out, there was a policeman writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and I said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?" He just ignored us and continued writing the ticket.

I called him an "a**hole." He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn-out tyres.

So my wife called him a "s*ithead." He finished the second ticket and put it on the windscreen with the first. Then he started writing more tickets.

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. He finally finished, sneered at us and walked away. Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it and went home.

We always look for cars with Jeremy Corbyn stickers. We try to have a little fun each day now that we're getting older. It's so important at our age!!

 

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Well that takes me back to when we had a stud farm in Scotland, didn't have one of them fancy doo-dads tho' !!

 

Two kids are playing football in a park in Manchester, when one of the kids is suddenly attacked by a huge rottweiler, luckily the other kid finds a plank of wood and shoves it in the dogs collar and twists it and breaks the dogs neck!
A man also in the park witnesses this and says to the kid, "That was amazing! I'm a journalist for the Manchester Evening news, I would like to write an article about what just happened."
He starts writing a headline, "United fan saves friend from dog", the kid says, "I'm not a United fan."
He starts again, "City fan saves friend from dog." The Kid says, "I'm not a City fan."
The journalist asks, "Who do you support then?" The kid answers, "Liverpool."
Next day the headlines read "Scouse bastard murders family pet in cold blood!"

 

I think that's sorta the point. Probably not an isolated incident--and not just this particular guy.