This made me laugh

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Havit, Sep 23, 2015.

  1. Bad Billy

    Bad Billy Baddest Member

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  2. Cyborgbot

    Cyborgbot Guest

    Is that the annual fcuk-wit day out from the village idiot training facility?
     
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  3. Bad Billy

    Bad Billy Baddest Member

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    Yep, several villages were missing their idiot that day! :p
     
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  4. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
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    DJ: 'Hey! This is Ed on FOX-FM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?'

    Contestant: (laughing) 'Yes, I have.'

    DJ: 'Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to the Gold Coast if

    you win.

    What is your name? First only please.'

    Contestant: 'Brian.'

    DJ: 'Brian, are you married or what?'

    Brian: (laughing nervously) 'Yes, I am married.'

    DJ: 'Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please.'

    Brian: 'Sara.'

    DJ: 'Is Sara at work, Brian?'

    Brian: 'She is gonna kill me.'

    DJ: 'Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?'

    Brian: (laughing) 'Yes, she's at work.'

    DJ: 'Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?'

    Brian: 'About 8 o'clock this morning.'

    DJ: 'Atta boy, Brian.'

    Brian: (laughing sheepishly) 'Well...'

    DJ: 'Question #2 - How long did it last?'

    Brian: 'About 10 minutes.'

    DJ: 'Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said

    that if a trip wasn't at stake.'

    Brian: 'Yeah, that trip sure would be nice.'

    DJ: 'Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this =

    morning?

    Brian: (laughing hard) 'I, ummm, I, well...'

    DJ: 'This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?'

    Brian: 'Not that it was all that great, but her mum is staying with us

    for couple of weeks...'

    DJ: 'Uh huh...'

    Brian: '...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time.'

    DJ: 'Atta boy, Brian.'

    Brian: 'On the kitchen table.'

    DJ: 'Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred

    times I've done it.

    Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get his wife's work number and

    call her up.

    You listen to this.'

    [ 3 minutes of commercials follow. ]

    DJ: 'Okay audience; let's call Sarah, shall we?' (Touch

    tones.....ringing....)

    Clerk: 'Kinkos.'

    DJ: 'Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?'

    Clerk: 'This is she.'

    DJ: 'Sarah, this is Ed with FOX-FM. We are live on the air right now and

    I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now.'

    Sarah: (laughing) 'A couple of hours?'

    DJ: 'Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to

    give any\answers away or you'll lose.

    Sooooooo... do you know the rules of 'Mate Match'?'

    Sarah: 'No.'

    DJ: 'Good!'

    Brian: (laughing)

    Sarah: (laughing) 'Brian, what the hell are you up to?'

    Brian: (laughing) 'Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be

    completely honest.'

    DJ: 'Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If

    your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to

    the Gold Coast for 5 days on us.

    Sarah: (laughing) 'Yes.'

    DJ: 'Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?'

    Sarah: 'Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work.'

    DJ: 'What time?'

    Sarah: 'Around 8 this morning.'

    DJ: 'Very good. Next question. How long did it last?'

    Sarah: '12, 15 minutes maybe.'

    DJ: 'Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his

    manhood. We've got one last question, Sarah. You are one question away

    from a trip to the Gold Coast. Are you ready?'

    Sarah: (laughing) 'Yes.'

    DJ: 'Where did you have it?'

    Sarah: 'OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that did you?'

    Brian: 'Just tell him, honey.'

    DJ: 'What is bothering you so much, Sarah?'

    Sarah: 'Well...'

    DJ: Come on Sarah.....where did you have it?

    Sarah: 'Up the arse.....'

    They had to call an ambulance for the DJ he thought he was going to have

    a heart attack , he could not stop laughing.
     
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  5. Bad Billy

    Bad Billy Baddest Member

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  6. Bad Billy

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  7. Bad Billy

    Bad Billy Baddest Member

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  8. David Cooper

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  9. Havit

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  10. Vulpes

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  11. David Cooper

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  12. Vulpes

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  13. Glyn Phillips

    Glyn Phillips Old’N’Slow

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    .

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  14. Sandi T

    Sandi T It's ride o'clock somewhere!
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    Aaargh! This one is PRICELESS and so, so true, David!
     
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  15. Sandi T

    Sandi T It's ride o'clock somewhere!
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  16. Timmy Tucker

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  17. Timmy Tucker

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  18. Timmy Tucker

    Timmy Tucker Elite Member

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  20. Timmy Tucker

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