This made me laugh

Don't buy Ukrainian Underpants!

Chernobyl Fallout

 

What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don't know and I don't care

 

I recently purchased a thesaurus from Amazon, when it arrived every page was blank

I have no words to express how angry I am

 

My mate went on a blind date last night. Apparently she told him to kiss her where it smells, so he drove her to Birmingham.

 

I fixed my mother in laws gas boiler this morning.

I'm hoping she'll be over the moon.

 

Last month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the UN.

The only question asked was:

"Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?”

The survey was a complete failure because:

In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.

In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.

In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.

In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.

In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.

In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.

In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

And in Australia, New Zealand, Canada, and Great Britain everyone hung up as soon as they heard the Asian accent

 

I tried to drown my sorrows...





Didn't work, mother in law is a good swimmer...

 

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That could be true. Unless this was in Bangkok, in which case it might just be boĺlocks.

 

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