This made me laugh

Just saw two guys wearing the exact same clothes.
So I ask: "are you a gay couple?'


Guess what? The feckers arrested me!

 

I’d need my big motorcycling boots to hide my valuables. Especially if on the beach with the girl from an earlier post...

 

I was with my black mate on Friday, he stood next to me having a piss in the toilet, I said fucking hell Winston, how do you get a cock that big?

He said every night before he goes to sleep he bangs it 3 times on his bed post.

So, when I got in from the pub I quietly climbed up stairs, went to my bedroom in the dark and whacked my cock on the bed post 3 times.

My girlfriend asked '' is that you Winston''?

 

https://i.imgur.com/HifVwH6.gifv

 

I mentioned the TV series called Pets in another thread. Thought I’d post the YouTube link here too for your viewing pleasure. They’re imho hilarious!

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_3FVMyWq-SnbF4ko7idYQQ

Watch the full episodes and not the clips!

 

I’d just ask her to hide my valuables...

 

They're all a bunch of cunts. What's changed?

 

He used the "C" word.....HE USED THE "C" WORD

 

I have to sat 1000 hail Mary's now!!

 

Thanks for pointing
it out Dave (?)

 

.

 

A nun went to the confessional. She confessed to holding a young mans penis and giving it a good ol fondle.

After a deep sigh, the priest on the other side of the grille says "say ten hail Mary's and wash your hands in holy water".

So she's said the hail Mary's and is at the font washing her hands when the next nun in the confessional queue says "Could you hurry up, I've got to gargle in that....."