This made me laugh

I've been trying to recapture my youth......

really must make the cellar door more secure.

 

The wife and I discussed not having kids even before we were married, in our very early 20s. Now in our late 40s we have traveled all over the world, done what we want, have a nice house (paid for), nice cars, (also paid for), and other toys, (bikes). People usually ask how we did all this so early and I usually say that it is due mostly to not having the upkeep of a couple snotnose tricycle motors to deal with. I used to be nice about it but got berated for our decision so now I just say I flat out don’t want/like kids. My choice.

 

Your choice. No-one should be critical, judgemental or argumentative.

Everyone is different.

I have three kids (that I know of). Can’t imagine it any other way. It’s not easy but is rewarding but frustrating in equal measure.

I wonder what it would be like without kids though... we’re on holiday at the moment and I went to the Radar Museum near Norwich on my own this morning as no bugger could be bothered to join me. I might as well be child (and wife) less.

 

Amen - and plus one - to that! I frequently get asked why I've never had children and invariably say - with utter honesty and sincerity - that I've never wanted them, never missed them and never envied anybody that had them. You love yours? Great. You find them rewarding and fulfilling? Wonderful. I'm truly glad for you - but I am not, and have never been, fatherhood material. I think the fact that I own an unknown number of motorcycles (at least 18), two classic V8s and a daily driver would suggest QED?

Selfish? Maybe. Self satisfied? Definitely.

A (relatively) recent re-marriage meant that, technically, I've become a stepfather but the children are hers, (notionally) grown up and, thankfully, living elsewhere. I did find it hard that the eldest boy needed to live here for 18 months but I treated the experience like I would an enema - something unpleasant, but bearable, that would leave me feeling SO much better with the final outcome!

 

I like children. Couldn't eat a whole one though.

 

Well nothing wrong with a bit of debate, as long as it don’t go mass!

 

You need more options, like can I keep two of the kids but send one back? Maybe upgrade the wife to a functional one? Etc...

 

Never got a woman to stick around long enough, to think about it.

 

Haven't (by choice) got any - but I'd adopt one... at least 18 years of age so would have to move out immediately!

 

I am tempted to pay my subs just to WTF you.

 

I've also heard it said that children are like farts - you can bear your own, but other's are intolerable!

 

My gran tells me, that when she was young, she never closed her back door.......

SLAG !

 

And I bet she’d let any old tradesman in the back door eh?!? Only the nobs would get to use the front door, or for special occasions...

Did she regularly polish her front step? Apparently a lot of that went on too...

 

James is a kitchen master!

 

A man goes home to his wife, after being fired from his job at a chips factory...

The wife acts surprised, because the man has been employee of the month for 13 months in a row.

She asks "What happened?"

"I got fired for putting my penis in the potato cutter. It's been a dream of mine, and I couldn't resist it anymore", the man replied.

The wife, even more surprised after hearing what happened, asked if everything is okay with his penis.

"Yes everything is fine with the penis", he replied.

"What about the potato cutter?", she asked.

A bit ashamed, he replied "she got fired as well.."

 

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