This made me laugh

Thanks - just spat coffee all over my keyboard...

 

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You're Doing It Wrong

 

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A young woman started work in the Village chemist shop, she was very shy about having to sell condoms to the public.
The Chemist was going on holiday for a couple of days, and asked if she would be willing to run the shop on her own.
She had to confide in him her worries about selling condoms.
"Look" he said "My regular customers don't ask for condoms, they either ask for a 310 (small); a 320 (medium); or a 330 (large). The word condom is never mentioned".
The first day was fine, but on the second day a black guy came into the shop, put out his hand and said “350" please.
The girl panicked. She phoned the Chemist on his mobile and told him of her predicament.
"Go back in and check if he has a bucket hanging between his legs," her boss told her.
She peeped through the door, and saw the bucket hanging between the guy's legs.
"Yes!” she shouted down the phone "he's got one hanging there!”
The boss replied, "Well, go back in there and give him £3.50 ...he's the window cleaner.”

 

A man was in a long line at his local Tesco store checkout. As he got to the register he realized he had forgotten to get condoms,
so he asked the checkout girl if she could have some brought up to the register. She asked, 'What size condoms?
The customer replied that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his trousers. He did. She reached over the counter,
grabbed hold of him and called over the intercom, 'One box of large condoms, checkout 5.
The next man in line thought this was interesting, and like most of us, was up for a cheap thrill.
When he got up to the register, he told the checker that he too had forgotten to get condoms,
and asked if she could have some brought to the register for him. She asked him what size,
and he stated that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his trousers. He did. She gave him a quick feel,
picked up the intercom and said, 'One box of medium-sized condoms, checkout 5.
A few customers back was a despondent student type called Phil. He thought what he had seen was cool.
He had never had any type of sexual contact with a live female, so he thought this was his chance.
When he got to the till he told the checker he needed some condoms. She asked him what size and he said he didn't know.
She asked him to drop his trousers and he did. She reached over the counter, gave him a quick squeeze then picked up the intercom and said
"Mop and bucket to Checkout 5

 

Can’t give you a funny at the same time but pissed mesen over that one.

 

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