This made me laugh

,

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

Dead Crows

The Police have found a large number of dead crows on the A1081 just outside Harpenden early this morning, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.
A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Avian Flu.
The cause of death appeared to be from vehicular impacts. However, during analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws.
By analysing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with motorbikes, while only 2% were killed by cars.
The investigators then hired an Ornithological Behaviourist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of motorbike kills versus car kills. The Ornithological Behaviourist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger.
They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "bike"

 

Started reading this and thought it was going to be a Chris Packham joke

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

Female Prison guard at HMP Berwyn jailed for having sex with prisoner. Shame, apparently she was a really good Screw.

 

They've sent my census form back! In answer to the question "Do you have any dependants you're paying for?" I put MP's, asylum seekers, pedophiles, prisoners, the cast of the Jeremy Kyle Show, Northern rock, RBS, Greece, Portugal, Ireland and half of Eastern Europe

 

.