This made me laugh

Ok...

 

I'm down with the eye wink now Ron

 

At the end of WW1, two Tommie's were searching no mans land for souvenirs to take back home, after a while one Tommy shouts, "I've found something" and shows his mate the German officers pistol he's found, a while later the second Tommy notices something glisten in the mud, on closer inspection he sees that it's the spike of a German officers helmet, he digs around and tries to pick it up, it wouldn't budge and then he hears "vot are you doing" only to realise the helmet is still being worn by the officer who is buried in the mud, "help me out and ze elmet is yours" says the officer, with the help of his friend the two tommies dig around the officer with their bare hands, they clear the mud down to his waist then taking an arm each they pull with all their might but the officer wouldn't budge, the officer then says, "vould it help if I took my feet out of ze stirrups"

 

Oi, spat me whiskey out when I saw that
It was v funny tho.

 

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Family business... They've been into fireplaces and conservatories for years! Kids under your feet? Try a West Special extension!

For references of our work dial 999 and ask for Gloucestershire CID.

 

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Feck you.